feelin ashamed

[marble]

Feeling ashamed with myself for meetin a bloke in a pub and having sex with him the same night.

I am single. In my defense i was very drunk.

I have had a shit year...h left me for another woman nearly a year ago. I am divorcing him at the moment, I was a complete mess when he first went but time has helped me to get to a much stronger place. I am still havin counselling though.

Hav ebeen very down because of the time of year..first xmas alone with 3 kids after 20 years of marriage.

I have only slept with my h in all this time. I have behaved out of character ...went out ...i came on to the bloke even though i knew he was married...

i just feel cheap and hate myself. The man has since sent me a couple of nice messages with a view to seeing him again but this won't be happening and i have explained this to him. Even though i am lonely as hell and crave male company/the physical and emotional sides.

I know i will probably get slated but if there is anybody who can make me feel better i would be grateful....

As far

i wont slate you. I understand exactly what made you do it.and I think its okie. and you chose well, even though you were drunk, it was a guy who is nice enough to send you nice texts back. just send a nice but no text back. and forgive yourself. youve had a rough time and deservved some fun.

Meant to say so far my h has treated me with utter contempt and continues to do so which i find very hard to deal with...he has told me he actually hates me but doesnt know why.

Dreading tomorrow when he comes to see kids for an hour....its all just too hard..sittin cryin and its xmas day

Try not to beat yourself up. We all make mistakes of different levels. You're saying you're not interested in continueing with it. Thats the best you can do from now, unfortunately we cant turn back time as much as we would love to.

I know its easier said than done, but try not to beat yourself up about it. I have done things which I'm ashamed of, and till now make my stomach turn.

Ladies thankyou so much for your kind relpies

he is coming for an hour? to see kids? have all the fun of openeing presents, and then leave you to deal with the mess of upset kids? and wrapping rubbish, and dinner to sort out?

he is the one who should be ashamed. not you.

He is actually taking the youngest to house he shares with ow to open presents off them (the older two have refused to have anything to do with ow and won't go there) once they have opened mine...i asked him just to bring presents here but he wouldnt...dont suppose she would like that

Oh poor you

Never mind it was a mistake. The man was married, it was up to him not to succumb to someone who was clearly drunk and emotionally vulnerable. In that situation, even if it was my husband you slept with, I would be saying wtf was he doing that for, would blame him 100%, not you given your circumstances.

Mystic BOF reckons next year will be much better for you.

Oh ladies never expected you all to be so kind....really sobbing now but kind of tears of relief that you are not judging me...

I'd quit while you're ahead , and go and have a lovely time with your children tomorrow xx

I don't think you made a huge mistake. Yes, it was morally wrong because you knew he was married but you're going through a tough time. There's no judging here.

You were drunk, you craved the physical attention from a man, you craved some kind of attention and connection and you got it. Drunk or not, you got what you wanted and you shouldn't feel bad about that. You've devoted twenty years of your life to a man who now treats you with utter contempt, of course you're feeling miserable.

Obviously responding to his texts with "Yeah, let's do it" isn't such a good idea since he is married and you don't want to carry it on. At least he didn't fuck you and leave you and had the decency to text even if he's a cheating bastard to his wife. It makes you feel better. All I can think of is the huge mistake HE made because he's married and how much he'll have hurt his wife if this ever comes out. You've already said you're not carrying this on so be firm but kind with him. If he's going to play away he'll have to do it elsewhere while you find someone not married who's worthy of your time and love.

Have a glass of something nice and alcoholic, put your feet up, please stop stressing and enjoy Christmas day with your DC's. You deserve it.

Well, it was shitty because he´s married.

But he´s the one who broke his vows-and it seems as though he would carry on doing so!

As for having had a one night stand-meh!

Are you havibg the day with your eldest children, then?

Have a good one!

Don't tell your h. None of his business.

We all do stupid things, don't be so hard on yourself.

Enjoy your children.

Don't feel ashamed about the one night stand. Nothing wrong with that so long as you take precautions.

As for him being married - not good of course and don't go back there with him nor with any married man as it will only cause hurt, you are vulnerable right now and it's hard to remain strong. Sure that you will though. This was a mistake, put it down to experience. It's a lot more his problem than yours.

So sorry your H is treating you so badly. Maybe start looking for an assertiveness course in the New Year?

A year has passed (almost), so you're over the worse.
At least you have the emotional intelligence to feel regret for what happened. Forget it, move on, don't beat yourself up any more. Be kind to yourself , you have been through a lot.
Your husband 'hates you' because you you remind him of what a low life he is . He should want you to be happy for the sake of his kids, at least.
~Merry Christmas~
Your 'day; will come .You deserve it.
x

you made a mistake when you were feeling very unloved and unwanted

you realise that now

it was never going to make you feel better..although you thought so at the time

he was married, yes that is bad, but just make sure you cut him right off now (properly !...none of this "staying friends" shit..)

chalk it up to experience and stop blaming yourself...he broke his vows, not you

your ex sounds like he has put you through absolute hell

in 2011, concentrate only on doing things that are going to boost your self-esteem, not send it further down into the depths

good luck x

There's nothing to feel ashamed about.
You wanted & needed some attention & physical affection after a bad year: you got it from a bloke who although married is at least nice to you afterwards. And you must be decent in bed & pretty good looking because he wanted a repeat.
So that's something you've learned.

You're not alone at Christmas, you're with your children. You'll cope and grow stronger next year. 2011 will be better for you.

How did the actual day go?

FGS ......was it a good shag?

You have nothing to feel guilty about (apart from the fact you knew he was married).

Give it time you will laugh about this.

Its no big deal just try and shag single blokes next time.

Glad to hear someone managed to get sex this Christmas .

Don't feel guilty. You sound like you've been through the wringer as it is. Your ex needs to treat you with more respect, for yourself and for your children.

Be kind to yourself. Keep safe. And give yourself a break, girl!!