Oh Heck, not now .... DH heard some sad news

[Clumsymum]

Just had a phone call from DH at work, nearly in tears.

He has kept a loose friendship with his ex GF over the last 19 years (christmas/birthday cards, occasional emails, she had visited us a couple of times) She has lived abroad for the last 15 years.

He was surprised that she didn't send him a birthday card this year, and we hadn't received a christmas card either.

So yesterday he sent her an email, but received one back saying she didn't work for the company anymore.

So, he did a little digging in coffee break, and has discovered that she died earlier in the year.

Now I know it was a long time ago, but they had been thru a lot together (weren't soul-mates tho'), and he is understandably shocked and a bit upset.

I don't know what to say/do when he gets home tonight.
Also complicated by the fact that my Mother is due to arrive today, and will be staying for Christmas. She isn't a terribly sensitive soul, and quite likely to put her foot in her mouth if I tell her, and to fail to understand why it matters ("well, he hadn't seen her for years, had he ?" type response), but if DH is a bit quiet and mopey, she'll assume it's because she's come to stay.

Advice please?

Can you tell your mum it is a friend, no need for the ex girlfriend bit if you think that may affect her sensitivity?

Treat DH th same as if any friend had died. Let hom talk, let him cry if he wants and give him a hug.

Tell your mum he has lost a dear friend and some compassion and understanding are required of her. Surely she won't be rude when she knows the truth. Any young death is shocking, it shouldn't matter that dh hasn't seen her for years.

Sorry, must have been a terrible shock for your dh.

Oh dear :( So sorry for your DH.

I think I would frame it to your mum as your DH has just found out an old friend he hadn't seen for a while has died, and is likely to be a bit upset tonight and won't want to talk about it. Leave out the g/f aspect of it as that just complicates things unnecessarily.

For DH, maybe a big hug and see if he wants some quiet time on his own?

Oh yes, what everyone else says, and what tribpot says about asking if he needs quiet time.

Very very sorry about his friend.