Ive been with my oh for about 4.5 years, and we have two wonderful children.
But things just arnt right.
He has become increasing moody, and is worse than ever at the mo. He hates christmas.
Hes a lot older than me, which i never thought was a problem, but im beginning to rethink this.
its so hard to sum everytghing up, but some examples are.
He does very little with the children, i have done all the night feeds for both apart from about 5 he did with our DD (she was breast and bottle fed from 1 month)
He even slept in a different room when she was in our room so he could get a full nights sleep. but i also do all the daytime care too.
i make everyones lunch, even his, and he sort of orders what he wants.
he will also say things like " whats that, ur making a cup of tea" when im sat watching tv, and expect me to jump up and make him one. if i dont he actually gets moody about it.
i never ask things like this of him, and if he makes me one he grumbles, but half joking half serious, so if i complain he says "god, i was only joking, cant u take a joke"
If fact, he used that line a lot. ie
Get up fat arse
more sweets, ur such a pig (im size 10, 5ft 6)
cor look at the tits on her (pointing at tv)
and when i complain he will use "just a joke" as excuse. he will also say," but i tell you your beautiful and have a lovely bum all the time, so how can you think im serious when i call u fat arse"
We had many conversations about how him talking about other women on tv makes me feel crap, and ive been in tears explaining this. it is less than it used to be, but he still does it.
I do all the cooking cleaning, bathing and putting kids to bed. although reebtly he has started to do the wshing up in the evening. Although this was kind of ruined when he remarked one night "im only doing it becuase you dont do it properly"
He does work, but had a long period of unemployment ove the summer.
He spent this time playing golf, every day, for 4 hours a day at least, sunbathing, and going on the computter.
At work now, they are doinga lot of retraining, and working from home. So now he gets to lie in almost everyday. then spends the rest of the time moaning about how bored he is, and sitting on the sofa with the laptop, doing nothing. or watching what he want on the tv, i dont really get a say.
every week end he plays golf, sat and sun morning, leaving the house at 7.30am and getting back at about 1-1.30pm. i then make his lunch and he sits on the sofa till i make his dinner. which he has now decided he wil eat in the front room watching telly, while we eat in the dinner room by ourselves.
the reason for this is becasue our DD 17months, will sometimes not want to eat at dinner time,and will play up, cry, or want to sit with me. So i end up dealing with this alone, as he cant see the point in both of us being there.
i was invited out with some friends for pizza a while ago, his comment " what u want to do that for, thiugh u were on a diet" im never on a diet, but it ws soon ish after having DD (6months maybe)
i went to drinks out with friends from toddler group, asked him if he was ok bathing and putting kids to bed, as we were meeting at 5.30pm, and getting back about 8.30pm he said " i dont know, its monday now, ur going out sat, so i dont know what im doing" Made a huge deal about what time id be back, where i was going, who with etc. I had to leave the house, in tears, I felt awful, like i had to ask permission to go out. he had his other daughters there with him when i went out (aged 12+14)
when i got back they asked how my evening went etc, he just sat in silence.
I then found out he got his 14 year to cook everything, and the 12 year old to bath kids, and both of them to wash up!!
he swears a lot, even in front of and at the kids, calling our son things like, twat, muppet, idiot etc.
And when arguing he will happy swear and shout at me, calling a me stupid, deluded, etc.
he constantly tells me he wear the trousers, and the other night told me, i wont be changing. which is wht suddenly gave me a wake up call. loife is very short, and i dont know if i can live like this forever.
obviosly i have given u all the bad examples of his behavour, and he can be lovely too. kind and caring. lots of fun, especially when we are out with other people.
please help me, i used to be so much more condident, and fun, but i feel different now. i doubt myself, and get really confused, i cant seem to think straight.
sorry its long and rambling. i could write pages but will stop now.
thanks