Why does domestic violence increase when a woman falls pregnant?

[poshsinglemum]

Apparently this is when dv increases. Why do you think this is given it is the time when a womne most needs love and support?

Because it is much easier for abusers to perpetrate their abuse when the abusee is "weak".

I think.

Because men who are prone to violence cannot cope with their partner giving any thought or attention to anyone else. It is a possessive, control thing.

read here

I felt more powerful when pregnant than ever before. But obviously vulnerable in a physical sense.

You're less likely to leave.

You feel more dependent on the father of your child, emotionally if not financially and socially.

Abusers have an instinct about this.

I've thought alot about this over the years and think it is a huge mixture of things.

Men that abuse are often in need of feeling powerful because they don't feel in control of other bits of their lives. (weak pathetic men are much more likely to abuse than men that confiedent in themselves).

A pregnant women will represent change, more responsibility, potential loss of attention, a highlight of their inability to provide or parent well, possibily memories of their own shite childhoods. It is a emotive time for all couples. Stress will mean less ability to control temper in those that can't control themselves.

Also pregnant women are often (I was very) emotional/stressed/temperamental which can led to more arguements. My very loving DH and argue a hell of a lot more when I am pregnant.

Sure there are loads of other reasons for this horrendous fact and it needs to dealt with by MWs etc more than it is now imo.

Self-entitled abusing men sense once a woman becomes pg that they are no longer the sole focus of the woman's attention and slavish devotion.

It is a natural thing to happen, the vast majority of men understand it, but a narcissistic, immature man will not

hence, they up the abuse to gain more control, using DV to silence and isolate their victim

I've always wondered about this too.

It's interesting one poster pointed out the increase in arguments. Maybe if a women in a potentially abusive relationship was used to biting her tongue and keeping her head down, the increase in pregnancy-induced hormonal weepiness and over-sensitivity (just going by my own experiences, there) could lead to flashpoints where before situations would have passed unremarked upon by her, because she would have swallowed down any objections for a quiet life. I hadn't thought of that before. It's always baffled me in general because surely it's a time when a woman needs most love and gentleness? But I suppose such situations could bring out a dormant nasty side in a man, or one which had been mostly kept in check. Agree about the not leaving, or wanting to leave, that must play a part. Kind of comes back to the old question, 'what would you do if you knew you'd never get caught?'. Perhaps some abusers see pregnant partners as a pass to do whatever, because they assume - often rightly - that she'll have to stick around.
It's very sad, really :(

Because up until the pregnancy, a woman in a relationship with a controlling abusive man may not really have noticed (as these men do not punch you and call you a cunt on the first date, abuse starts *slowly) that everything's on his terms, that she always lets him have his own way, that the focus of her life is keeping him happy. So once she's PG she (understandably and rightly) starts putting the potential baby ahead of the man on her priority list. So she might disagree with him, or forget to provide some minor service: he resents this and steps up the control.