So sad and so angry

[emkana]

Tonight was the very last time that I was able to take dd1 to the toddler group where we've been going since she was tiny. We've always both loved it there, but from next week she'll be full time at school so she won't be going any more. I'm so sad at the passing of time and at her growing up at the moment that I'm crying my eyes out. Tried to talk to dh about it and he was f*ing useless, trying not to giggle because he thought I was being stupid, and when I got angry about him not giving my any sympathy he got angry and said I was being silly and he couldn't do anything about it so what did I want him to do? He's so useless at dealing with emotional stuff... could throttle him.
And I'm so sad because this time will never come again. Does anybody understand me?

yes. the typical male reaction - faced with something they can't "fix" they try and ignore it, when you just want a hug, and a there, there, it's tough, but there's lots of exciting stuff to come (in this case obviously for DD at school). and you're probably feeling wobbly anyway about the whole starting school thing.

Oh yes, and im sure loads of other mums will do too Im sure when he waves off your dd on her full day he will understand even a teeny bit, or when he comes in and shes sitting doing homework
My 2nd dd has just started and I went into shock for a couple of weeks. Was numb Im ok now but goodness me these are our babys. I think its the norm.

A hug would not have gone amiss.

I understand you Emkana, it is sad. It is also not nice that he does not understand what you are going through. But that's what Mnet is for isn't it . Hope you feel better.

emkana, I do understand how you feel, but I do think it is important to look forward at all that your DD has yet to experience, rather than backwards at what has gone

Our missive as parents is to deliver at adulthood an individual who ( if we are lucky) is capable and fit to care for themselves independently from us. As such I think you can give yourself a pat on the back that you are one step closer to meeting the requirements of your role

Time does pass quickly, but what rejoice in teh possibilities (that sadly some that post on here will never knoe) rather than what has already gone

understand you perfectly emkana. My ds started ft school 3 weeks ago and a huge void is in my life with him gone all day, even though he is the 6th and last I have had to pack off, I was just so upset. All I can say is that is does get easier.

I understand emkana. I felt really sad the day I put dd's name down for a pre-school and she wasn't going for another 11 months! She got her joining instructions yesterday and starts in a month, and I'm all tearful again. Took me by surprise as I'm really looking forward to having two afternoons when I can go swimming and to the gym ...... but I'm sad that the baby phase really is behind me now - and I can't believe I'm going to have to get her some name tags to sew into things.

yep. Most women will!

Had an interesting tete a tete with DP myself tonight.

He tried to slap my bum as i walked past but missed and hit the bony bit of my back. (It was meant to be playful, i agree but....) I yelled out, and called him ...... something and he yelled back at me to get a sense of humour and that it couldnt possibly have hurt (I do have a back problem btw). I said it did - he STILL argued it didnt. I asked why he just couldnt say sorry. He said "because it couldnt possibly have hurt you" aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhh.

Then he got the hump because thats what he does when you get the hump with him. You having the hump with him gives HIM the hump. And he started being narky with me FFS! All i did was walk past - he didnt have to slap me bum!

Men - harumph!

Nothing like your problem emkana but i agree - they are on a totally different level to us sometimes. Sympathise with you being sad.

vickitiredmum and everybody else - it totally stumps me why they often can't see that the easiest course of action that will make everybody happy is just to give that quiet hug/say sorry/listen...

instead they act so STUPID!!!

Still feeling v. upset. I'm just having one of those nights. But your messages are helping, so please keep them coming!

coz they are emotionless beings
except when it comes to football and a pint

Because men are from Mars and should stay there.

Things took a turn for the worse last night, with last night bringing up that old male chestnut of hormones being the cause for my distress .

He slept in the back bedroom...
but left this morning pretending that everything was normal, which is also totally typical behaviour for him. Don't know what I'll do now.

I've just had a go at my dh on the back of this thread, reminding him of how he never showed emotion in the first 5 years I knew him except over a football incident...

I realised he wasn't really paying attention to what I was saying because there is football highlights on the news on the telly .

T**rs, men, aren't they?!

Absolutely, anorak.

I idly wonder sometimes if there are any men that are different?

emkana - I felt exactly the same two weeks ago when dd started full-time school. She's my baby and I'm not having any more children so felt like it was the end of a chapter for us all. I cried and cried. I have to say though my DH was fantastic, hugged me and said all the right things so there are men that are different. Two weeks on and I'm getting more used to our "new" life and enjoying it in a different way. Hope things get better for you soon.

emkana,i have felt bad for the last 3 weeks ,my sd started school he crys each morning before i leave him,but onnce im gone he has a good time.
im lucky because my dh feels same as me,i think like most things it will get eaiser with time. you are not on your own.

.Just had to add I know exactly how you are
feeling .My boy is 6 now (yes I know that seems old )but where does the time go ,I got really upset when he started school that I( I sound like a right weirdo now but I am not honest )
ended up having my heart monitered and it turned out it was an anxsity (wrong spelling I know ) attack .How prescious is that .Antway what I found really helped me is writing a letter to your child saying all your feelings like how you are going to miss them because they are growing up so fast and all the things they have been up too at nursery and who their friends are and such like well anything really and this letter can be opened when they have kids of their own . I call them keepsake letters and do them every 18 months or so usually when I feel sad and that I feel that I am loosing him because he s growing up (going into year 2 is hard ) Also dont mean to seem morbid but god forbid anything ever happened to me I think he would find great comfort in these letters . Husband not good at this type of thing so he did a private video for him . Sorry its such a scroller but if you do do a letter it is quite theraputic.