Tricky situation wwyd?

[TinselinaBumSquash]

DP doesn not have anything to do with his Mum, he has a brother and sister 15&16.
Im not going to go into details but after years of abuse he cut his Mum out but has some contact with his bro and sis, we send birthday/xmas pressies and chat ocassionally on facebook.

Anyway bil and sil have never mentioned the fact that we quite quickly went from seeing them almost daily to not seeing them in years, i don't know what thier mother has told them.

I was speaking to bil earlier and he thanked me fro his and sils's xmas card and pressie but has asked me where mil's is as she has got us something?

Im not sure what to say, i don't want to ignore him but i don't want to open cans of worms by saying actually we have chosen to to have contact with your mum, either that i we could just send a simple 'to mum from dp and Tits and the kids' card and be done with it.... im not getting her a pressie though.

What would you do or say in this situation?

DP doesn't want to loose contact all together with bil and sil but isnt prepared to strike up a new relationship with him mum, and we certainly dont want her having an active role in the kids lives.

I don't mean to judge, but if I, as an adult, felt I had to stop contact with my mother because of abuse and there were other children living in her care, I would be doing everything I could to maintain contact with those children, to ensure their safety.

At 15 and 16 they are old enough to be told the truth, but I would assume they have heard a very different version of events to DH's.

I shall be honest and say that from what i know of mil i expect she has told them a lot of rubbish about why we dont see each other anymore.

Also just to clarify, dp has never witnessed any abuse directed towards his brother and sister and tbh by the time they were born most of it had stopped towards him to, it was aminly boyfriends of his mum and some from her but only directed at him becuase he is the spitting image of his father and she couldn't stand that.

His bro and sis were 11 and 12 when we cut ties wil mil and were in regular contact with thier grandparents and thier father so we had no worries in that dept.

I will have to ask dp what he wants to do when he gets in.