Do you think that your friendships that you have with other mums have any impact on the friendships that your dc have?

[poshsinglemum]

I am feeling a bit sad atm. I was friends with another mum but I've upset her (my fault and very complicated) and I don't think we have been invited to her dds bday party. (we were last year). It's complicated but I feel bad for my dd as I don't want her friendships to suffer because my inability to keep friends.

What do you all do about these sort of politics?

Try not to worry about it too much. When she gets a bit older she'll make her own friends and it wont depend on who you are friends with.

it is very hard. until about 18 months ago i was quite friendly with my cousin's partner and i visited with my dcs. ds1 played with her girls and tehy got on well. tehy lived nearby aswell. however, my cousin and her have separated and alot has come to light that i just cannot get past. i am unwilling to take sides but she has moved away and contact has stopped. ds often askes when we can go and visit as he did like playing with the girls.

I think any parent worth their salt would not let issues they had with a DC's parent affect the relationship between the respective DCs, if you can possibly follow that. So even if you and the mother have fallen out, she should still invite your DD to her DD's party if they are still friends.

I fell out massively with the mother of DS3's friend a couple years ago. We'd been good mates; she did something I found very hard to forgive. For ages we didn't speak - it was hideous, but our respective DSs had absolutely no idea this was going on. We managed to arrange stuff - just through gritted teeth. Luckily we've kissed and made-up since then - I hope you can sort things out as well.

I think when your children are very young they become friends with the children you facilitate (i.e. the children of your friends), when they start school their circle widens and as they grow up (sixth form / uni) you're a lucky parent if you still know who they all are.

If your child is young it's difficult to see how falling out with a friend will not impact on your child. Long summer afternoons lazing in the garden while your children play are not the same if you don't like the adult.

I feel really sorry for the kids, when one of the parents has an affair with one of the other parents. The children are innocent, but it can be really difficult and embarrassing for them and their relationship with their friends.

I was in this situation last year, I fellout with 2 of my best friends, one I had been friends with for nearly 2yrs we did everything together hence our girls who are the same age did everything together, the second friend also got involved long story and my dd was also best mates with her dd they palyed together from 6mths.

Some friendships don't last for whatever reason, I felt sooo guilty my daughter also lost her 2 friends outside of school, i think they sometimes still play together.

Over the past year I,ve picked myself up, made new friends, my dughter has made new friends but they our her own friends not the children of my new friends. and one thing I've learnt is just because your children get on, does not mean the mums are suppose to be best buddies!

Don't be to hard on yourself things will get better xxx

I just feel a bit pushed out and it hurts.

It has happened to me a couple of times in dd's 5 yrs and it is distressing. When they are young, it is next to impossible to disentangle the parent's and child's friendships. A lot depends, also, on why you have fallen out.

I also suspect, that many of the friendships that parents make with other parents are more fragile that those made pre-parenthood. Pre-dd, I have friends going back over 30 years. I have made quite a lot of friends since having dd - but some have come and gone already and I seriously doubt if any of the others will still be close 30 years on. I hate falling out with friends - but it seems to happen much more now than it used to.

I go back a long way with this women. 0 years. I basically once had a thing with her brother (didn't shag him; just a thing-he chased me something rotten but I was getting over my ex so didn't go for it) and she dosn't like the fact that I still fancy him as he has a gf. I don't want him anymore but I told her that I could no longer go to the baby groups at her house as I found it too uncomfortable/inappropriate.

I couldn't keep a lid on my emotions and was honest with her and this is how I'm repaid? Cheers for that.

Sorry- 10 years I mean.

BTW- he lives with his gf at the same house as the babygroups were held and I don't think she gets why I find it so wierd as it was ten years ago after all. This is after he started waving at me flirtatiously again from his car etc. I realised I still liked him and told his sis thinking she'd understand. WRONG!!! I had to tell her btw as I needed her to know that me not going to groups wasn't personal.

So now dd suffers because of my ridiculous emotional landscape.

Try and ride it out Posh. I'm sure it will be awkward for a couple of months, but then something else will happen and she will move on to taking offence at someone or something else, and you may drift together again. Just try and keep civil and acknowledge her when and if you can bear to.

Your daughter will be fine. She may not get invited to the party, but if they are at school together, I am sure they will still play.