m,i,l,

[bunnies]

Has anyone got any advice on how to handle the M.I.L.
My situation is this, my husband died recently and I never have seen eye to eye with his mother, she blames me for his death!! She has not had regular access with our children, maybe six times last year. She is now asking for regular access to both children, but one child one saturday and one child another! She has not spoken to me since his death and point blank told me she did not want to speak to me again (a few days after his death this happened) She has written to my children on various occassions but my elder boy has not responded, and i have not forced the issue. On one visit my son had with her, he came back and asked me "exactly who is responsible for my dads death!"
Does anyone no of any grandparent being award visitation through the court and if so how much? Does anyone have any input for me.

My immediate reaction is to let her speak to them and if she invites your older ds and he wants to go just explain that it's not very nice if he goes and his younger brother doesn't.

My first reaction would be to buy an answering machine and screen all calls. Only deal with her if you are feeling strong enough.

dont let her have any contact - the things that are said by people like her can do more long term damage than the effect of no relationship with her. It she really wants a relationship with your children she would be prepared to have it at your house, you dont have to be in the room with her, there could be a third party perhaps - one of your friends etc. I speak as someone who has been undermined by one relation making consistent occaisional comments about another relative. I never knew 3 of my grandparents and saw my maternal gmother one ( she lived abroad no family issue with her) I did think it would have been nice to have grandparents but it did not affect me in the way that having negative ones would have.

MFT-my all time favourite books!

Sorry for hijack-please ignore me!

Many thanks for that advice magicfarawaytree, it is so very difficult to decide what to do for the best, and what is required within the law, i know mils do not have any rights, but with all the other issues of sorting out my husbands estate, she must have realised by issuing another lawyer letter to me, it would just make more stress and worry for me. My husband, his sister, and mil are a bunch of very weird and unhappy people, have been all the years i have known them, always moaning about everything, and critising. My children do not need to be put through any more of that.

Many thanks to everyone who has helped with their replies, all have helped me very much.
Hope to meet up again when i am looking for more help advice.

Hugs
Bunniesxxx