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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Friends & Competition

8 replies

ChaCha · 27/09/2005 11:59

Do you find there is competition between yourself and your DP/DH's friend's wives?
How did this arise?
Can you give examples?
What do you do about it?

OP posts:

NomDePlume · 27/09/2005 12:06

I tend not to mix with DH's friend's wives/girlfriends. Most of them are single or in casual relationships anyway.

MrsMiggins · 27/09/2005 12:26

DH works away so dont know any of his collegues let alone their wives

do find competition between certain friends though - mostly over clothing
I dont join in cos happy enough that mine look clean & smart & trendy rather than in designer stuff

what problems are you having CHaCha?

munz · 27/09/2005 12:28

erm yes one in particular the compatition is from her doing thou not mine, we say we want something and save up they go out and either buy it or get bought it, etc.. for example we were looking at getting a dog, DH said this on the tues to the wife (we were going out on the sat to find one - they got one on the thrus and had great delight in saying look what we got first!)

what do I do - moan to DH and my mum, but in honesty said person is 99% of the time a v good friend, and I just ignore comments, or come up with witty comeback!

is there trouble for u?

Original poster

ChaCha · 27/09/2005 12:44

Munz, sounds very similar. I try the witty comeback usually works too but sometimes it just gets to me. I often think that i'm being OTT as I feel I have been since maternity leave (too much time on my hands iyswim).
Have had the 'We're hoping to buy such and such..' and find that they've bought a bigger, better one. Have had the 'I'm planning on trying to make this dish', next day trays of food sent to DH. List goes on and on....

OP posts:

Original poster

ChaCha · 27/09/2005 12:47

I'm not sure why i posted this really - it's such a long story. Think I wanted reassurance that other people face this..maybe from relatives, friends, who knows.
What about breaking the news that you're pregnant (after much disappointment) only to be told weeks later that she is too, on first attempt so that kids would be same ages?

OP posts:

munz · 27/09/2005 12:56

ho god honney we're not talking of the same person r we? we started TTC, and within 3 months they were (after her DH was ademant no children for at least 5 years - and she was def no children ever!)

I think the best one I came up with was when talking about finances, and it was well we're not in debt - so my retort - was well we might be but at least we've bought everything/are paying for everyhting in our house, instead of having mum buy it for us - didn't go down well.

having issues at the mo as both DH's are up for promotion - but that's a whole nuver thread!

Original poster

ChaCha · 27/09/2005 13:06

Oh no!! Even worse! Well wishing you and your DH good luck. Guess it's just a case of grin and bear it right?
Well, i'll be off to get some lunch, absolutely starving!!

OP posts:

munz · 27/09/2005 13:10

lol - yes and moaning to DH about a situation he doesn't care about, all he says is well it's not our fault! she clearly wants to be like us! - highly doubtful, I say take it as a compliment but it is infuriating yes.

on the plus I guess least u have a RL pg buddy, even thou u have gone thru so much to get here - just remebr when bean comes and it's all oh X this is doing that is your X? don't bite just sit quitely and let it wash over u.

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