When does alcohol become a problem?

[worriedSIL]

My SIL has had a problem with alcohol for years now.

She seemed to have sorted herself out for about the last 6months but I am worried again. I wondered what it would take for you to be worried about her ds? How bad would it have to get before you would think of contacting SS (who have been involved before when she tried to pick him up from school drunk.)

Any advice with alcoholic relatives would really help me.

My ex H is, I believe, a functioning alcoholic. I ended things and forced him to move out when his drinking began to become physically obvious eg empties all over the side in the mornings, urinating on the sofa, spilling drink all the sofa and carpet. I would get up early to clean up before the kids got up, but it got to the point where I was doing that every single day.

We get on okish now and still do stuff together with the dc, although live apart. I thought I was protecting them but we went out for a meal the other day and my ds said "are you getting beer dad, you like beer", he is only 7 so had noticed already.

I think that if her drinking is obvious in that kind of way it WILL be affecting her dc even if they are not being actually physically neglected.

I f*cking hate alcohol! The pain and stress and ruination it brings when people become dependant on it.

It depends on what makes you think she's getting bad again. Have you seen her drunk around her DCs?

Could you talk to the school? SS must have contacted the school last time so the head should be aware of what is going on and who to contact.

We live 4hours drive away. So have not seen her drunk but she is very good at hiding it until it escalates to her being drunk in the day. I think she is depressed and that makes her drink but she wont go to any kind of counseling.

She has a partner atm who she is living with and from what I have seen of him seems pretty stable. She is asking him to do more and more doing less at home, ringing and getting upset on the phone late at night sluring and sounding drunk. The last few times we have seen her she has smelt of alcohol again and she keeps having falls (not just while the snow has been here).

I dont know what it is like day to day but there does seem to be a pattern where she starts like this and I feel like it is me worrying over nothing then something happens which makes it obv it is starting again.

avoidingagos- that sounds really hard for you and the dcs. Can I ask roughly how long it took to get from where he could still hide it in the day to where you were hiding it for him?

madeup- I am torn between being worried about talking to anyone in case I start something that will get ds taken away and worried for ds' safety.