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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Question from dh!

46 replies

skinnycow · 26/09/2005 23:13

I want to have sex with my wife but she doesnt want to. Is it reasonable to expect her to oblige regardless? Sorry for too much info.

OP posts:
Pixiefish · 26/09/2005 23:14

no

starlover · 26/09/2005 23:14

no it is NOT reasonable

jennifersofia · 26/09/2005 23:20

NO

Freckle · 26/09/2005 23:20

Absolutely not. Consider if she wanted to have a shopping spree on your credit card but you didn't want her to. Would it be reasonable to expect you to oblige anyway??

Have some chocolate instead. Works for me .

mummytosteven · 26/09/2005 23:20

NO.

merrygoround · 26/09/2005 23:21

I always thought the technical term for non consensual sexual intercourse was rape. Why doesn't she want you?

chocolatequeen · 26/09/2005 23:21

Could only be a man.....

Question for him - Does he really want to have sex with an unwilling partner?

starlover · 26/09/2005 23:23

is he trying to be funny/controversial?

if so... it isn't working

Original poster
skinnycow · 26/09/2005 23:25

no starlover - he's just nagging me and has asked me to ask some of my friends tomorrow but instantly realised that Mumsnet was far quicker

OP posts:
mummytosteven · 26/09/2005 23:26

at him wanting you to discuss this with your RL friends!!

starlover · 26/09/2005 23:26

ahhh yes dp asks me to ask mumsnet about stuff all the time! lol

wheresmyfroggy · 26/09/2005 23:26

I am a bloke and I know the answer to that is a big no.

mummytosteven · 26/09/2005 23:27

mine thinks MN is a bit of a weird addictive cult and we're all barmy for divulging personal info to complete strangers!

chocolatequeen · 26/09/2005 23:29

Sorry wheresmyfroggy - bit of a generalisation there.... no offence intended to men in general!

wheresmyfroggy · 26/09/2005 23:31

wasn't having a go at you choc queen, was just a direct response to the question.

chocolatequeen · 26/09/2005 23:32

I know - just didn't want you to think that I was some militant feminist that's all ...!

starlover · 26/09/2005 23:33

however, note that wheresmyfroggy is spawning children at a rate of knots!

kama · 26/09/2005 23:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

wheresmyfroggy · 26/09/2005 23:35

lol

harpsichordcarrier · 26/09/2005 23:37

at your husband...
but does he mean tonight

or ever ...... I mean are we taking total abstinence??

Tortington · 26/09/2005 23:40

absolutley not - why not try .......no thats it try harder skinnycows dh.

if all you want is to get off surely you should buy a mag and have a wank. thought the point of having sex with someone you love was that half the enjoyment was knowing they are horny too.

jumble · 26/09/2005 23:59

Oh dear. You poor bloke. My dp would love to too but I don't want to either. Its not that I dont absolutely love him to he ends of the earth and back, I'm just too luvved up with my very physically demanding babies and too bloody knackered. Give it a couple of months of absolutely NO pressure and try again. X.

colditz · 27/09/2005 00:00

No, not reasonable. That's like saying

"I want my husband to walk three miles to Tesco, at the end of a hard day looking after children on his own. He doesn't want to. Is it reasonable to expect her to oblige regardless?"

jumble · 27/09/2005 00:08

To be honest, I'd rather walk three miles to Tesco's at the moment Oh how life has changed. How did we get these kiddies in the first place?!

vickitiredmum · 27/09/2005 00:10

No, absolutely shouldnt do if DW doesnt want to. However, i think its unreasonable to refuse indefinitely without thought for his needs.