I've been lurking on this board since my husband left nearly 4 months ago, and have taken much strength from WWIFN and other's posts. I wanted to ask you all about your healing journey, whether you have separated or stayed with your partner. What has helped you to heal and what has hindered it?
A bit of background to my situation: After 10 strong and largely happy years together my husband (then partner) was rocked by a series of traumas: lost both parents after years of depression and alcoholism and then discovered his father was not his biological dad. We then stirred things up a bit more by getting married 6 months after his mum died (he'd proposed the year before) and then 18 months after his dad died we had a wonderful but premature baby boy. A few months after his birth he had his first affair (2 or 3 weeks he tells me, I had no idea at the time) and then this spring he started another affair, and "fell in love", felt I didn't need him, no longer understood his dreams all the cliches. I knew he was very unhappy, and had been trying to get him to seek help since his mum died, he finally did the week he walked out on us.
So it is just such a painful process, to lose someone and to know that they weren't who you thought they were for such a long time. He says he knows he was very lucky to have met me, and that he misses having me as his best friend. I have days when I don't feel sad at all, and that shocks me, I guess I was carrying a burden for so long without realising it.
So I just want to know what best I can do to heal from this and to hear where you find yourselves 6 months, 1, 2 years down the road. I am sure I deserve so much better than this, but am terrified I will not know how to trust anyone again.