Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

i have absolutley no interest in sex any advice

16 replies

starshaker · 26/09/2005 20:16

my dd is nearly 6 months and i really dont want sex we tried once and it really hurt. dont think thats the reason just have no interest not feeling horny or anything. help my dp feel rejected

OP posts:
starlover · 26/09/2005 20:18

it may just be general having a baby stuff... or it may be to do with what you've said in previous threads about him cheating? perhaps psychologically you aren't ready for it

mummytosteven · 26/09/2005 20:18

various possibilities:-

you are absolutely knackered
you are on some sort of medication that affects libido - sometimes ADs and hormonal contraception affect libido
you are feeling a bit stressed/depressed

i do sympathise - I am on the Pill and Prozac and that has completely killed my sex drive.

if you do try again, use loads of lubrication/KY - I had a lot of pain at first (had ventouse and episiotomy and lots of stitches).

Original poster
starshaker · 26/09/2005 20:20

not sure might be. think i might go to docs and mentin it also i have been bleeding very lightly for a month am on the depo inj but last time i didnt bleed atall

OP posts:
blueteddy · 26/09/2005 20:24

Don't know what advice to give you, but wanted to let you know you are not alone in having no interest in sex!
I am exactually the same & can happily go months at a time without sex.
My youngest is 2.5 years old!

Bugsy2 · 26/09/2005 20:57

Took me a long while after ds1 was born to feel genuinely up for it, as opposed to just being polite! Tiredness, definitely doesn't help. In the end I took Agnus Castus tincture for a couple of months and that really helped. It is supposed to help balance female hormones but I don't know if it would work if you are taking hormonal contraception.
Is there any chance you could escape for a night or even a weekend with your dp, so that you could sleep, relax & take time to be a bit romantic?

vickitiredmum · 26/09/2005 21:01

I had same as mummytosteven (keep reading your name as mummyto7! ).

It takes a long time to get back into things and you have all the added stresses of being a parent. Often you have to plan it which is totally unsexy too. Im not aware of your other situation but that could be a huge part of it too. Try having a nice evening out, meal etc and see how you feel when you have had a bit of time together etc.

Original poster
starshaker · 26/09/2005 21:15

thanx dont think its cos im tired as get more sleep now than what i did before lol might ask to come off depo

OP posts:
monstersmummy · 26/09/2005 21:26

i have no interest either...dp is like a dog on heat but i am too tired or not bothered or he wants to do it in rom when we are bed but ds2 is in there!!(6 months)

Its not high n my list of priorities i have to say

pjsmum · 26/09/2005 21:28

I on the depo and feel exactly the same. Really have no interest. Its not knackerness ( is that a word?) Do feel fat and unattractive but i've been fatter so know this isn't it. Do still have slight feeling of never want to 'poked and proded' down there, if you know what i mean. Maybe its the depo. I've got appointment tomorrow for next injection, i could ask about side affects.

monstersmummy · 26/09/2005 21:29

btw i'm not on depo

pjsmum · 26/09/2005 21:42

We moved dd into her own room at 6 months cos i thought it was weird to have here in there and i think its wrong! Dp was hoping it would change but no it hasn't. We laugh about it but it gets him down and to be honest me too at times. I really don't know why, really really can't be bothered

Meko · 26/09/2005 22:11

Prehaps you just knackered - I havent been in the mood since dd was conceived and even then that was out of sympathy. Just damn exhasuted and theres always someone wanting something, as much as I love my kids someone, cuddling me, poking me, being sick on me, even on my lap in when Im on the toilet - so just to be able to have my body to my self for a couple of hours is bliss, especially given Im still feeding in the night!

Janbo25 · 27/09/2005 08:51

i was on depo prior to having ds and I to also though it affected my libido, since having having ds who is now 8 months I feel fine again, so i'm thinking of trying a more natural form of contraception perhaps persona?

laligo · 27/09/2005 08:59

i have this prob at the moment too and it's definitely not just tiredness, it's total lack of interest. one of my dp's fellow dads hinted to him that it would sort itself out when i stop breastfeeding. has anyone found that to be true?

triceratops · 27/09/2005 09:00

I think the only thing that got me started again after the baby was doing it. I agreed with dh that once a week was not asking the world even if I didn't feel like it. The first few times felt a bit strange, but after a while I got back into it. Actually having sex whether you enjoy it or not releases testosterone which increases your sex drive. I also found it easier to get in the mood if it had been at least an hour since I had last had to be a "mummy". A babysitter and a bit of alcohol made all the difference.

Whether you want to go through the effort with someone who was unfaithful is another thing entirely

Janbo25 · 27/09/2005 09:01

I think I agree with you on that triceratops

New posts on this thread. Refresh page