What's your relationship like with your siblings?

[LittleMumSmall]

Little sister and I were virtually inseparable until early teens - now in our 30s and I realised we've probably only spoken to each other about 6 times this year. We live miles apart and our lives are vastly different (I think the biggest difference though is that I have children and she doesn't) and sometimes I just wonder what the future will bring...will we be able to find some common ground to make us closer again? Has anyone else experienced this with siblings?

I have a brother who is 2 years younger than me and I adore him. Even though he's a massive, 6'2" grown up man, in my eyes he is still the floppy haired 12 year old boy starting secondary school 2 years below me whom I feel fiercely protective of!

We don't speak on the phone every week or anything like that but we're close in that whenever we see each other we just pick up where we left off as if no time at all has passed in between us last seeing each other.

Is your sister older or younger than you? I think if she were ever to have children of her own, you'd probably find she'd be lookng up to her more experienced sis for advice and support. The distance can't help either - do you talk on the phone much?

This is difficult.

I get on ok with both of my sisters, but they are on egg shells with each other.

One of my sisters is a very very difficult individual.

My brother is some kind of special agent in the army so only see him sparodically. LOVE him to pieces, he is gorgeous.

So all in all, okish

I couldn't even say we had a relationship with my brother. He left home at 18 to go to uni 3 hours drive away, and rarely appeared after that. He visits our parents 3 times a year for a couple of hours, and thats it really - so I might see him once a year. He didn't see his only nephew until he was 2, and didn't send a card or anything on his birth. Or visit/help our parents when they have both been in and out of hospital

I have two older sisters and an older brother. I am not close with any of them. I always thought it was an age gap issue, as I there is 7, 11 and 13 years difference between us but my two sisters are definitely close and there is the same age gap (to within a few months) between them as between me and the closest in age.
My oldest sister treats me and my husband in the same way she treats her ds, she mothered me when I was little and it still hasn't changed!
It used to bother me hugely and I felt very much the outcast in the family.
Now I have my 'own' family and whilst I enjoy visiting and seeing them I don't let it bother me in the same way.

No relationship at all with younger brother.
I am no use to him, and I don't think he's charming.
The lack of contact is mutual.
Very sadly for him, he was the sibling who was born so that I wouldn't be an only child. I don't know if he knows that; I hope not.

I agree this is difficult. I have 2 (younger) brothers. All of us scattered across England and none near my mother.

I see one of them maybe 1/2 times a year at my mum's, the other maybe 3/4 times a year also at mum's. Not always at the same time either and it is just how we are.

No problems/issues etc just different people. Might change if my brothers had families & children but currently they don't.

Mind you I really hope my twin daughters stay in much closer contact than I do with my brothers!

I have two brothers (both younger). I get on well with the youngest - he is very kind hearted and sweet natured. I don't see him much as he lives about 400 miles away now and we don't really chat on the phone. I wouldn't say we are close as there are 9 year between us in age so when he was little I was starting to get interested in friends, boys etc.

My other brother and I were very close when I was younger (2.5 years apart). But since about 6 years ago he has become very strange (I think he takes steroids and I know he has some mental health issues). I had to live with him for the past 2 years as we have had financial difficulties and have been living in my parents house (they are not there anymore but my brother still was). He was such hell to live with that to be honest at this point I despise him and can barely think of him as a brother anymore. He is a stranger to me :(

I hope my kids manage to stay close as they get older as they are such good friends now.

I have no relationship with my siblings. My little sister is the family golden child. SHe has borrowed money for every member of our family with no intention of ever paying back, including an elderly and fragile aunt who had just lost her husband, claiming they were broke. Within weeks, she recieved a new lounge suite. No mater what she does, she is always forgiven. Her children are golden too.

My younger brother is a user, a thief, a liar. I gave up on that relationship when I realised finally that it was one sided.

I am the family scapegoat. My husband is controling, my DD is mental, I am irresponsible...

My older brother was complicit in a cover up involving my toxic mother.

SO...my lovely dysfunctional family are no longer part of my life, and I am happier for it. You can chose your fiends, but not your rellies..!

A mixed family as both parents re-married after having me and DSis1.

Have 2 other (half) sisters and 1 brother, who we care about but rarely see as he cannot be detached from his emotional drunken wreck gf.

'Halfs' on each side only met for the first time at my wedding but no issues.

Adore my sisters and all get on- I speak to one of them every day although we live miles apart. 2 out of 3 sisters down to mine this weekend so very happy

Wow, so many different situations! I know, if I think about it, that families are all unique but feel a bit floored right now when I think back to our closeness in years gone by compared with the distance now. Am glad there's no actual animosity, though. Will try and make it my New Year's Resolution to work on the relationship.

I travelled around a lot as a child and consequently we were quite close as a family (I have 3 brothers).
We drifted apart as we grew older. Children brought us together but partners are pushing us apart.
I have been overseas for 16 months now and I don't think I have heard from any of them once in that time - although I saw them when I was home and one of them came out to stay.
They are not good communicators but it makes me sad as I honestly think that, when my parents die, I will lose touch with them completely.

Don't start me.
It's venomous, but it always has been so that is fine. She is a bully and has various personality disorders.

So I'll stop now.

i always feel so sad when siblings relationships are strained - i have 2 younger brothers, one can be difficult but is mellowing as he gets older, he is only 3 younger than me and was hyper critical of my parenting, he has his own now and keeps quiet! , my other db is 14 years younger than me and is loved to bits by everyone - he had the best of both worlds, bought up as an only child really, parents had a great deal more money and time for him, but he also had us siblings! - we tease my dm about him being 'the favourite', he is her 'special little policeman' (armed MOD police! , what dafty ever gave the little sod a gun! ), thing is, he is a lovley man and i wouldnt change him for teh world - the other thing my dbs have given me are 2 fantastic sils, wonderful nephews and nieces and i feel very lucky to have them - my sadness is that i was never in a position to have a second child myself, my dd has definatly missed out!

Not sure to be honest. I have one younger sister to whom I am in theory, very close. BUT, we're not, hard to explain. She is very much the closeted younger sister, my parents support her each and every whim when on the other hand telling me off for being flighty (one career change). They see her as the independent one because she has a job that means travel, but help her out financially when I bought my own place, have worked since left school etc.

This isn't about my parents though, but it does impact our relationship. She genuinely believed she is entitled to whatever she wants, and feels hard done by if she doesn't get it. They will never put her straight, and 'enable' her by feeling sorry for her for various things that are all her own doing.

She is manipulative and very passive aggressive. She will purposely say 'spikey' things in conversation that are designed to get a response, if I ask her what she means by it she will act 'attacked' and my parents will dive to her defence and my attack. If she doesn't get her way with me she will run to them in tears (she is 27) and then they will be on the phone to me to tell me off...even if I was right because no-one is allowed to upset her.

I am not allowed my own friends, she will insist in being invited, has invited herself over to stay when I have people over and then say that they invited her. But I am not allowed to comment as that isn't fair to poor little sis. My friends see it, and DH has very ltd time for her.

I find it hard because I grew up with this dynamic of keep everyone else, in particular her, happy to the expense of all else. As such I revert to it as a matter of course, and simmer quietly. DH is trying to get me to be more assertive, but it is hard because then the whole family side with her. No idea how we got here to be honest. I often wish I was a little more like her, her sole priority is herself, despite this my parents adore her and yet rely on me as she is away so much. They are a little toxic though, as I am learning.

As you can probably tell, there is a deep well of something here! Am hoping to get referred to talk to someone about the deep seated anxiety my family have bred into me, but that is another thread.

She has invited herself to stay in Jan to see DD, and as she is staying in a nearby B&B I can't say no, even though the thought of her foisting herself on us for a few days makes my teeth itch.

My bro is 2 years younger and like the OP we were very close as children.

He is the golden boy as far as mum is concerned while everything I do/ did was wrong. After a number of incidents I gave up with him and we were estranged for years. We made up when he got married but had another falling out a few years later, because I suggested that SIL could go to work rather than them sponge off mum

Basically he does what he wants and won't put himself out for anyone else. If he doesn't want to do something he won't, then I get the fall-out. He isn't interested in my DCs and I don't think any of them have had so much as a card from him, ever :(

My sister is three years younger and has no kids. We don't have much of a connection and have fairly stilted conversations of the 'how are you' variety. She lives with my mum at the moment so we tend to see each other by default, but I do wonder of our relationship will completely dwindle if i didn't see her through my mum.

The truth is if we weren't sisters we wouldn't be friends.

I do hope my boys will stay friends, but I know many don't :-(

I have a brother and we do most things together such as go away for weekends together, go to gigs, go out clubbing together, he comes round, I go round there, he looks after my daughter etc. I know literally everything about him including shags, who he wants to get with and all manner of personal information. I am the oldest by 4 years but we are best mates really.

littlemumsmall I have one sister, we are only a year apart in age. We were really close as children and teenagers - same big group of friends etc etc. In our late 20s / early 30s we drifted a bit, I would maybe have spoken to her once a fortnight even though we lived in the same city. She was married with kids and I was single and living the high life the life of Bridget Jones. We just didn't have that much in common. Now, ten years later we are as close as ever. I have two children and I do think that common factor helped. It will come round again.

My DP sees his brother and sister several times a week and speaks to them frequently but really they all get on each others nerves! And, in my opinion, they are too close!!

My sis is 4 years younger and we have always done a lot together, had great fun. Since I had ds the relationship has definitely changed, she adores ds, is desperate for kids but no partner, but we don't have as much fun anymore, mainly because I don't go out that much, but when we are together we are still close. She used to live round the corner, but she recently moved back to parents, and I miss her a lot. It's very different, cos neither of us are very chatty on the phone. The more I think about it I guess we are not as close anymore, but I'm not too worried cos I know when we do get together it's all good.

Similar relationship with brother, don't chat much on the phone, but have good fun when we are together, he has kids, and is very hands
on dad, so we have that in common. He had a fallout with my h recently and surprised me with his strength of character and his support for me. I know he loves me very much.

I just feel like there is a very strong bond there which doesn't need much work.

My brother disowned me after I married a man with a different religion. I get along great with my two sisters, although I've been living abroad for the last 10 years. We became closer after I had my DD, though they haven't met her yet!

I have developed a relationship with my sister since I have become a mother, we have removed our mother from the middle of our relationship and since then I have come to know her has the gorgeous lovely kind generous stubourn damaged woman that she is I would do anything for her.

My brother and I were very close as children, at boarding school we only had each other and the fact that we aren't that close anymore has upset me in the past, but now I see that he has grown up, he has a wife and child and all the things we had were because he needed me and he doesn't need me anymore. Now our relationship is more distant but we see each other when we want to and not because we have to. iykwim.

my sister and brother have almost no relationship.

I have a DSis who is 20 years older than me and a DBro who is 17 years older than me. While I didn't see much of my brother growing up since he moved out at 19, got married, had children and bought his own house, my sister lived with us until I was 13. She had a girlfriend who was our 'lodger' until I was nine and then when I was 13 fell pregnant and moved out literally around the corner with my niece.

My relationship with my sister is very healthy and she's like a second mum to me. I try not to get involved in her drama-filled life with her and her girlfriend but I talk to her on the phone almost daily and spoil my niece rotten when I can. DD1 loves her big cousin, too.

My brother and I have never seen eye to eye on anything. After his divorce it was like I was put in the middle because I didn't want to cause any problems with my relationship with Ex-SIL or with my brother but you know how that goes, it doesn't end well. I saw my brother for the first time in almost a year two days ago when he came around out of the blue and spend 90% of his time talking about his new girlfriend, his teenage daughter who her mother is trying to turn against him and Ex-SIL putting me on the spot and trying to gain information from me. A very toxic relationship that I don't like or intend to re-visit any time soon of my own accord.

My mother died when I was 17 (am now 22) so my sister kind of took over my mother's role. When I fell pregnant at 19 she gave me a place to live until I was eight months pregnant and could afford the deposit, bond and first months rent on my own flat with my boyfriend (now fiance), was my birthing partner when DF couldn't attend DD1's birth and came with me to the hospital after the recent home birth of DD2 when DF was ill with sickness and diarrhea and wasn't allowed inside the hospital with me. No, we don't always see eye to eye but we don't argue and we stay out of each others private business and are there when we need each other.

I have two younger brothers who I adore in quite a distant way. They're both very successful in their careers, personal lives, academic, sporty and all that. I brag about them a lot whenever I get the chance.

They live 300 miles away but I don't call them. One of them is super-prickly and always gets into a snap with me so he's not my first call when I feel like a chat. I'm much more in touch with the other but weeks pass without us speaking. Both really quite disapprove of me (they're probably right to!).

I do feel sad about it as our parents are dead and we have very little extended family so I'd love to be closer.

I'd love to have had a sister as well.

I have a sister who is 4 years younger than me. We never got on as children but now we are really close despite being on opposite sides of the world. She is totally different to me and I do worry about the way she treats my mum, because my mum can be quite annoying and I have more patience with her than my sister does who she tends to punish her a lot for things that I would let go.

Before we moved abroad I donated eggs to my sister, and we have just found out she is pregnant! I think me being over here is a good thing though, because she tends to take advice as criticism and me being there (even though I am a mum myself) might not be good for our relationship as she has her new baby if you know what I mean?