I'm not a regular poster, but I am a regular reader of the board. As seems to be normal, I've name-changed. Backstory DP and I have been together for over six years, we have one DS who has just started school.
This is quite difficult for me to write out, as I'm not sure if I'm just being a jealous, possessive mare or if I actually do have good reason for feeling hurt. During the latter half of last year DP and I went through an extremely rough patch. We were rowing a lot, and rather than work through it DP would retreat into himself, so essentially it was a case of papering over the cracks. During this time it emerged he had been confiding in a female friend - facebook chats all through the nights when I was at my parent's with DP, meeting up for coffee, and at one point telling me he was meeting a male friend for an evening and instead going out for drinks with her. (I only found out about this when DP was playing with his phone and I took it off him - he'd left it open at text messages between the two of them). I confronted him over this, he swore nothing had happened or would happen, he was very sorry etc etc etc.
It all came to a head over Christmas/New Year, when for various reasons (being badmouthed by his family, him texting various exes and "friends") I left him for some weeks. Eventually we met up at a neutral location and talked through our relationship - he admitted he had been deliberately pushing me away, he knew confiding in the OW was wrong, I told him I felt completely betrayed and then I told him that if we were to make another go of things, I didn't want him having any contact with her whatsoever. He agreed, was very emotional and said enough to reassure me that his priority was DS, me and getting our relationship back on track.
This year has been far better. We talk through our problems, we're more emotionally open with eachother, things have felt fantastic. That is until last week, when I discovered that DP and OW have pretty much been in constant contact all year (he told me that the last time they'd had contact was in January, before I moved back in with him). From what I've been told/have seen, it's been coming from her - most messages end with her asking him if he's free for coffee sometime, and as far as I can tell he hasn't replied, or if he has he's kept it civil and brief.
...and yet I feel so angry. It's like the "wound" has been opened again. I've got all this irrational anger directed towards the OW (a friend of his sister's), I find myself coming over all Miss Marple, wanting to check his phone/email, I keep wanting to confront him and tell him I know they're still friendly. It's going round and round in my head all day everyday and I don't have a clue what to do.
Deep down I know he hasn't been unfaithful, but it still feels like such a betrayal. Posting here I feel like I'm overreating so much - most threads here are about REAL problems, this seems so juvenile but I just needed to get it out of my head. Thanks for reading.