We have no heating, which would be fine if this was just one of those things out of the blue but it isn't we live in a beautiful old cottage and even the heating working last year it was still very cold, we moved in last spring while I was pregnant, we hadn't lived together before and the heating situation was a bit of a running joke at OHs old place he contracted away and was rarely at home so the heating was never on and towels and bedding always had a damp smell his friends always had a dig about it and I vividly remember one say when we moved and the baby was coming ''ah you'll have to have the heating n now ha ha''......seemingly not.
Baby came last october, we had a rayburn and weren't totally familiar with how it worked so I kept saying to OH to test it and run it before we brought the baby home, I was 2 weeks overdue the last week I spent at my parents near the hospital while OH was at work, I asked him if the heating was working he said yes. I had a shitty birth ended failed forceps and an emergency C under general anesthetic, OH saw the whole thing as an inconvience really he wanted me to leave hospital a day early because he wanted to get home and didn't want sleep at my parents or hospital again I was full of morphine and couldn't walk so FFS. So on our return with our tiny son no heating and it wouldn't work I was distraught and spent the next 48hours in the living room in front of the wood burner OH got angry and said I was overreacting.
This year has been awful, I was diagnosed with PND in the Spring OH didn't accept I was ill and feels if I put some effort in I would be ok, I was put on anti depressants and visited by a specialist nurse every few weeks. Things improved I made friends and got a part time job although still strained we seemed to find a happy medium. My finances have been a constant fighting point, the pregnancy wasn't planned I was working contracting on good money but had moved into my Mums for a few months after spliting with my ex who had emigrated to OZ during this time I added to some student debt I owed so when I fell pregnant was making significant progress with the debt of around 10K I also had a horse on loan from friends this is yet another good old excuse for a row.
By the summer I'd secured a part time job to coincide with the end of my maternity pay and would cover my loan repayments and horse costs OH pays bills etc and effectively keeps us we are fairly comfortable this is also obviously temporary I have good earning potential and hope to go fulltime once our son is of school age. I took a minimum wage job which fitted around OHs hours so no need for childcare. This was what we had discussed and planned but in practice OH Resented caring for our son alone for the 3 shifts a week I worked (16hours) so I could pay off my debt when I wasn't contributing financially to the household. He hated me going out to ride even though this has helped me intergrate into a new area and I sacrifice in other areas to have my hobby ie no new clothes, rarely have nights out, don't drink smoke etc. This all came to a head when he found out that during the pregnancy I had (stupidly) added to my debt, nuclear fallout followed which resulted in a downward spiral for me I felt all the progress I'd made had been erased and that everything we'd planned and that I though would make things better was all wrong. I lost all perspective at this point and already fragile OD'd and ended up in hospital.
Things continued to be very strained I subsequently left the job got rid of the horse and after going backwards and forwards to my parents. A huge blowout followed. My friends and family are sick of hearing about him, I feel completely empty I have nobody to talk to. He goes to work and I'm here all day on my own with no car, in one room because of the fire with my bored 13 month old climbing the walls, OH doesn't speak to me when he does get in there just no conversation I feel so desperarately lonely, he thinks I am overreacting about the heating its like a control thing, like chinese water torture I feel constanly uncomfortable. I can't live like this I don't recognise myself anymore.