Why did he get annoyed?

[chrysanthemum38]

It's ironing night - I always iron on Sundays.

So I get to pick what we watch on TV. We had two rom-coms recorded that I hadn't had a chance to watch yet as he hates rom-coms so I can't watch them in the evening, and during the day I am looking after my 3yo who maks it impossible for me to really watch something properly as she wants CBeebies on all the time.

So he put on one of the rom-coms for me to watch and went into te kitcen to make a cup of tea prior to going upstairs on his computer.

So far all well and good.

But I wanted to watch the other one. So I changed it.

And he got annoyed.

He saw that I had changed it, heaved a big sigh, said "Oh FFS" went upstairs and slammed his office door.

Why?

Ask him? Although does it really matter - you're still doing what you wanted to do and watching what you wanted?

Because he wants to be in charge, and you were questioning his taste/authority/decision and also showing that you know how to work the dvd player. All of which threatens his delicate misogynist ego.

By the way, did he make a cup of tea for YOU?

I did ask him. Apparently I should have known why he was annoyed and he refused to tell me.

Although half a bottle of rose later, I don't care as much. :D

is it becuase he;s a twat?

Leave his ironing in a grumpy heap

My DH can't see a problem with what you've done, so the verdict here is that he's a grumpy twat.

One time, after he had been in a mood, I saw a Mr Grumpy T-shirt on sale a Mackays and bought it for him - he can be a bit of a grumpy twat.

Thing is, I can see the funny side now and think it's all hilarious (wine is great), but he will be in a grump till well into tomorrow.

Ah well, sod 'im (and Gomorrah!)

And no I didn't get a cup of tea, but I had poured myself a generous glass of wine so didn't really want tea at this time of night, which he knows, otherwise I would have got a cuppa.

Yes, he's overreacted, however, from his POV, maybe he thought he had done a nice thing for you in putting on one of the films and that by switching it over, you have effectively said that his attempt to be thoughtful was not good enough.

But he didn't actually ask me what film I wanted to watch - he just made that decision for me, which pissed me off slightly. Anyway we ended up having a row about smoking ( have a thread in Aibu ATM - smoking mil) and I just kept giggling as I tend to giggle when a little sloshed so he's not impressed.

LOL

Life!

I wonder if he had decided he would stay downstair with you, so put the RomCom on he could face watching, only to come back in and see you'd swapped it over?

But whatever his problem was, it would have been much simpler to have just told you! I would say 'typical bloody bloke' but I wont because I'll get my wrists slapped

Hah, XH would have insisted that I'd changed the film because he'd put the other one on, as a passive-aggressive criticism of him; that I'd have been perfectly happy to watch it if I'd put it on myself but because he did it it had to be wrong. "Don't give me that shit, I can read you like a book", in a voice choked up with rage, while I was left going "Huh?"

Mind you choice of film was the least of our problems, so I'm not going to say "I left him and so should you"!

Like Annie - I completely recognise this behaviour from abusive H.

It's the basic - 'I want you walking on eggshells' attitude. i.e he will criticise everything so that you feel anxious about even the tiny little things.

Very difficult to explain to outsiders without looking like a loon. It's very waring and stressful - you have my sympathies.

I read your smoking thread and it does seem that he is hell bent on seeing the very worst intention in your innocent actions.
He needs to nip this in the bud now.

I think you should speak to him, maybe make light of it. Just bring it to his attention and thus cause him to evaluate his reactions to you.

He is of corse beeing a twat, but he is not making himself happy by doing it so I doubt it is on purpose.

If the wont stop, then you have to
ask yourself if its worth staying with him.