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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

i just need to tell someone how sad i feel

5 replies

mumtobe23 · 05/12/2010 14:29

i'm sorry, this post isn't really looking for advice and is probably a very boring read but i just need to write, because i can't talk to anyone... I feel so utterly, utterly sad Sad

My relastionship with fiance is just shit. we dont speak nicely to each other, we have nothing in common, we row constantly & disagree over everything. We had another huge row last night, both our faults really, but this time infront of my family Blush (he acts as nice as pie infront of his)
I can't remember the last time we laughed together, or i even felt happy, not just when im with him but with anyone. i don't smile anymore.
Since the birth of my dd a year ago we are just blah.
He hasn't really bonded with her and says hes not a "kiddy" person. he plays with her for 5 mins and then he gets bored and takes himself off somewhere else, this make me feel sad not just for me but for my DD as well.
I've said to him before about splitting but he just won't go, i have nowhere to go or no one to turn to. my life (except for DD) is just pure shit.

I want this to work, i want my DD to have a happy family. not one that just rumbles along

Sorry its a depressing post but i just need to off load somewhere..

OP posts:
Vanillacandle · 05/12/2010 14:55

Hey - sounds like you're going through a tough time.

Did the rows start with birth of DD, or were things already a bit rocky? Have you talked to him about what is going wrong?

It could just be that after birth of DD he's feeling insecure and left out but doesn't know how to tell you, and if he's not had much experience of babies/children he's maybe frightened about getting it wrong and looking stupid. Or if he really doesn't like kids, why did he have one?

You say you've spoken about splitting - if you can't resolve things it would be better for DD to grow up with separated parents than parents who are constantly arguing, so don't stay together for her sake. However, if you think there is any chance of sorting things out, it's got to be worth a try. Would he go to counselling with you?

I'll be here for a while this afternoon, so feel free to post again and I'll try to help as best I can... you do have someone you can talk/offload to.

almostgrownup · 05/12/2010 14:55

I've read your post and am so sorry that you are sad and are living in this unhappy situation. It's terrible when the joy goes out of a relationship. He doesn't sound as though he is ready for a family really. Definitely not ready to marry. Hope things take a turn for the better for you soon. Perhaps your own family could help?

Duna · 05/12/2010 15:28

Really sorry for you and the horrid time you're going through at the moment. This is a very obvious suggestion but have you actually sat down with him and gone through exactly how you feel and how you see your situation?

PressureDrop · 05/12/2010 15:31

Sorry you are feeling so down, OP. Out of interest - how old are you?

Vanillacandle · 06/12/2010 16:52

Hi mumtobe23 - how are you feeling today?

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