Anyone else's parents completely frickin indifferent? Grr..

[colditz]

Just rang my mother to tell he we are planning to pop down later so dp can fix her computer for her. Her response?

"Oh, if you must."

Me "Well is that a problem? Do you want us to come another time instead?

Her "No. I'm not feeding you though."

Grrrrrrrrrr!!!!!! Actually we don't want bloody feeding, I'm making roast beef tonight. I really wish she wouldn't do this.

I think all our lives we are trying to get a reaction from our mother, and mine has never responded to anything I say or do. It doesn't matter how nice I am to her (she owes me £40! and dp is going to fix her computer!) I don't think she would notice if I dropped of the edge of the world.

Humph.

Nightynight, I'm not sure about favouring one sibling over another. Perhaps in the case of my mum's friend, it's concern that the will doesn't reflect what they believed to be the dad's wishes?

We have a sort of potentially similar issue here, in that dh's step-dad will leave his house to his wife (my esteemed MIL), and apparently his will then says it should be left to her kids, completely bypassing his own. I have NO idea why, he's not estranged from his own kids or anything, he just thinks "well, they'll get to inherit their mum's house so they don't need mine". Except their mum could leave her house to the local Cats Charity or something. All sounds very messy to me. My understanding is the disinherited kids would have the right to contest the will but it's not the same situation exactly.

Apparently it's "all okay" and has been agreed with the step-sibs, but at the time it becomes an issue the only witnesses left alive will be said step-sibs, hmmm.

as you say - families, eh? Hope we do better with our children!

My sympathies ladies.
I have wonderfully supportive parents of my own but my In Laws constantly amaze me with their indifference to their children and grandchildren.
I have thousands of stories to bore you with, and maybe some time, when I am feeling really fed up with it I will post some of them on here.
For now, all I will say is that what really helps me rise above it all is to 'take the moral high ground'
A good friend of mine gave me this advice when I was having a cry and a moan to her about FIL and his wife and their aim to be the World Champions of Crap Grandparenting.
She (my friend) said that I had to remove myself from it and stop wasting valuable time and energy on anger and sadness over it. She said that if I always made sure that whatever happened, if I did the right thing (write letters from children, phone them once a week, thank them for any teeny thing they might do, however crap and begrudgingly they do it ...) then if they said/did something awful (or nothing as the case may be sometimes) then I know I am in the right and haven't done anything to blame myself for.
Does any of that garble make sense?
So, yossa, my advice to you would be, go to your mum's birthday ... give her a kiss and her card and present ... smile through the afternoon - whatever your father has to say or do whether he is grumpy or whatever.
You know you didn't take the piss ... you know that he said "Take your time" ... you haven't done anything wrong ... so you did everything right ... and he did everything wrong ... so he has come out looking the wally hasn't he?
That is what I do with my PIL ... and it does help a bit although I do indulge myself at times daydreaming of awful calamities that could happen to them ...

ghosty,

Makes sense to me.

Yes I would agree with your friend's counsel. I "do the right thing" with regards to mis parentes, I am not going to be cast as the villain of the piece.

Still hard to do though but ultimately its my parents loss that they are for whatever reasons disinterested.