Have completely fallen out of love with DH

[Snowday10]

It hasn't been an instant thing to be honest, its been coming for a while but I think I've actually made my mind up that DP is not right for me after all.
It kind of started whilst we were in cinema last saturday night, a bloke who was either drunk or high kept getting up from his seat and leaving the room, each time stumbling past me and DP and walking behind us (we were sat at the back). DP later said "they were really bothering me". I said "I know, I feel so uncomfortable when people are stumbling around behind me" and he replied "yeah I know, I was getting ready to have a go ... if he'd touched me at all".

Absolutely no mention of his concern for me. just for himself.

It's always like this with him though. He'll leave me standing in the freezing cold and rain waiting for a bus when he could easily take me to work in the car but he never thinks to offer.

I talk to him and he completely ignores me, changes the subject or simply doesn't listen to me.

He's boring, can't hold a conversation and certainly won't start one. I tried to start a discussion with him the other night about freud and his theory on people saying what they really think and he replied with "oh, I don't know" and that was it.

Last night he came to bed, his balls hanging out of his boxers and a while ago I wouldv'e found it funny. Last night it was annoyed me and made me feel a bit digusted with him. Can't even be arsed to dress himself properly.

So am I a superficial bitch then or do I have reason for feeling like this??

(am regular but name-changed incase he snoops)

"freud and his theory on people saying what they really think and he replied with "oh, I don't know" and that was it. "

That sums it up, doesn't it?
He doesn't think of you, or doesn't care enough about you. You're not being superficial, it's the accumulation of pissedoffness that makes you feel this way.

Is he DP or DH? You've got to talk with him or sooner or later you'll we slinging his clothes out the door.

Do you have dc?

He sounds horrible!

Do you just need a bit of a break from him (like a weekend away)?

How old is your dh if you don't mind me asking?

Dont think you are being superficial at all. You only have one life - do you really want to spend it with someone who sucks the joy out of it? My MIL has been married for 30 plus years to the dullest man on the planet. Her life has been seriously curtailed as a result. Seriously why compromise to this extent?

Just to take a slightly different tack....

To answer your final question/s:

Yes, you definately have a reason for feeling like this. No, you are clearly not a superficial bitch.

If your DH is behaving in the way you describe then it seems you have every reason to feel the way you do.

BUT... there must have been something about him? Are we talking about a relationship that you have never properly enjoyed, or are we talking about a man who has changed?

If the former, then this is a difficult situation for you, that to be honest, you need to take some of the responsibility for. Sorry if that sounds harsh.

If its the latter, then have you tried explaining to him how his self-centredness, his lack of conversation, his unwillingness to engage with you on any meaningful or equal level makes you feel?

It may not work, but sometimes simply making it clear to another half how you are feeling can lead to change. We can all get wrapped up in ourselves and need a hefty kick up the arse to be reminded that we have responsibilities to the people we love. Sometimes we need to be reminded that we need to make an effort to actually be lovable.

He is being an arse, no doubt. I guess the issue is whether you feel the realtionship is worth making the effort for. Do you want to get the old DH back?