Need a debrief (and a cwtch - is that allowed?)

[piranhamorgana]

It's me

Am putting this in relationships as that is where I usually post.
Had a very lucky escape on Friday.Went to see a friend first thing.She lives in a very remote house on top of a mountain.Whilst having coffee,it started snowing,within 20 minutes,there was 3 inches.The school rang and asked us to get the dc.

I had baby dd and ds,9.We set out,but the car went out of control right away and picked up speed,running down the hill and bouncing off the hedges.Then it flipped over twice,rolled onto its roof and then back onto the drivers side.We were upside down for an hour before anyone could get to us.We had to be carried down to the paramedics as no vehicles could get up to us.

Thankfully,the dc were completely unharmed.Although ds was terrified.My forearm took the worst,went through the window and along the road.Very ripped and full of glass and stuff,bleeding profusely.We went to hospital and on the way,I had to ring round and sort out my dd's.

Well,I had excellent RL help from friends who did what they could - difficult in the snow.

I had plastic surgery under general anaesthetic on Saturday and spent yesterday in bed,groggy on morphine.
My arm is out of action.The car can't be retrieved yet.Baby is groggy as still bf.I have to stick with the pain ,now,or ff her.

DC back in school.They have all been great again,helping out with everything.

We have been very,very lucky.I am overwhelmed by images of losing control.Of what ifs.The dc have been worrying about me dying,and talking about what would happen.They say they would want to stay together in our house and look after themselves and the baby,and see their dads at weekends - like now,all the same,but without me..

I have rushed around all morning sorting stuff out with the insurance.We have frozen pipes,no water. I cant lift baby.
I am dopey from meds.

I feel like crying and being held.
There's no one here today.

Offering you the biggest cwtch and a couple of swses too.

That sounds horrendous. You poor thing. Thank goodness you and your dcs were ok (apart from your poor arm).

You've done amazingly to hold it all together for as long as you have. You're allowed to let the shock hit you now. You're ok. Your babies are safe.

You are all ok.

Oh man, you SO need a big cwtch you poor thing. I am for you, what an awful thing to happen.

Is there no one that can come and stay to help out? Could your HV suggest something? What an awful thing to have to try and cope with by yourself. Hope your arm feels better soon, and am so glad the kids were unscathed.

Thank you YouKnow and mylife >sniffs and sobs

So sorry to hear that, PM, absolutely horrible experience, but how right of you to call it very lucky as it could have been so much worse. As I've said before, your children are so fabulous, look how sensibly they're working out the practicalities so you know they'd manage without you if they had to. Fortunately they don't have to. Maybe someone up there does like you!

I do hope your poor arm is back in commission soon.

It sounds like you've been through the mill more than your fair share lately!

Time to make sure you treat yourself some. You've clearly got lots of lovely friends around who have rallied to your aid. Take advantage for a bit :). Try to rest and recuperate. Don't push yourself to get better too fast.

Have another cwtch :)

Thank you >wails

Aw, are you on your own today? Have you got stocks of hot chocolate or other comfort type food? You need to treat yourself and indulge. You really do.

Worse could have happened, but it didn't. You made the same decisions I think we all would have in the circumstances.

Last year I left work at the normal time, it had just started snowing and I was five minutes from home. Heading down the hill I suddenly started just sliding towards this parked van. Luckily I regained control just before I hit it. But what if I'd slid the other way? Into the oncoming traffic? Or it had been snowing for five minutes longer?

I was lucky not to have had a bump. I don't think I drove recklessly. Sometimes you lose control and it works out, sometimes it doesn't.

Life is funny like that.

But you got through it!

Were up found or did you have to call for help? It all sounds very dramatic.

Were you, not were up!

Jeepers.

That is horrid.

I am so gald you are all ok.

Here, have some homemade rice pudding.

Bloody hell woman you really have been through the mill. It must have been absolutely terrifying but as you say, thank god no really serious harm has been done, and the DCs were uninjured.

I agree, make the most of any offers of help - literally delegate out household tasks to DDs and friends (tidying up, hoovering, washing up - break it down to specifics), ask people to bring meals over to stick in the oven, get someone on the case for the school run.

Are there any painkillers (other than paracetamol etc) that you can take while BF? It would be a shame if this ended your BF before you wanted it to but equally you don't want to be in pain for any period of time if it can be helped.

Wishing you a speedy recovery and I really hope you are much much better by Christmas.

just me and baby today.Homestart lady can't get here because of snow.more forecast tomorrow.

My friend we were visiting was behind us.She called the police,fire and ambulance,but they couldn't get up the hill.Eventually,a police 4x4 came halfway up and we were carried to it,and then driven to the ambulance.The car i still there.

It was very dramatic and lucky we were just setting off-as in,not out of first gear.I didn't break,and did my best,but the incline was too steep.

We knew snow was forecast for later,and ha only planned on being an hour there at most,but it came down so quickly.The police said there was nothing we could have done differently.My friend has been snowed in up there loads,but never suspected it was so bad after just 20 mins of snowfall.

She is stuck there now.

I know we are lucky to be alive,and I dont think I will be traumatised or anything.But I am going cold at the memory of losing control and rolling - it was like being on a roller coaster,and I hate those!
I think it is delayed shock today.There was lots to do at the weekend ,and I stayed bright and strong for the dc.

Am alone today,and everyone busy or snowed in.And now I don't have a car.

The rescue fantasies are very tempting at the moment!

I made a bread pudding on friday before we went out,and i am nearly finished the whole tray this morning.Plus all the flapjacks!

Shock can hit at any time. And I have to say it is far more useful being the type it hits later, rather than during :)

If you don't want to collapse too much could you set a five minute alarm and then wallow in complete self pity until it goes off?

Goodness, how scary for you. I hope you feel better soon. It's easy to say but try not to dwell on the what ifs. When I felt really awful (after a much more minor incident, I dropped the baby!) some suggested trying to replace the image every time I thought about the bad one. Don't know if that will help. Take care xxx

sips hot chocolate gratefully<

That's a good idea.I think I will have to stop wallowing when the bread pudding is all gone - will be distracted by my uncomfortably over-stuffed stomach,and guilt at how much I've eaten
Baby is absolutely plastered in brown,chewed up sticky mush and currants.As is the rug.And the sofa.

I am sticking to paracetamol during today,and saving the codeine for bedtime.Very sore though,but hey,it'll get better.And I'll have a lovely battle scar to match my stomach!

I'll pm you about my scar in two seconds (in case you need a laugh). You are one brave lady.