New relationship starting - any tips / advice so don't f@@@ it up??

[MeAndMyGirl]

hi, not been interested or wanted to have relationship for over 3 years. Met a guy I have known for 15 years at a party last weekend and it all clicked. I have not dated for ages - over 10 years - and now have my DD to think of who comes first. Any tips / advice on how to do spend some time with this guy, keep my life with DD separate until know it is not just casual; and generally not make a mess of it?

How old is DD? Does she go to bed at a certain time? Does she go to her fathers for overnight visits at all?

My DD is 5 and she does not see her dad - he is not allowed access to her by court order; so all a bit tricky. I am trying to move on and live in the now, rather than the past.

Read The Rules book.

be honest, Talk about how you feel. Keep DD out of it for now - go out, (babysitter) or, if she is quite reliable at staying in bed - he can come round after she is asleep.

Be honest, don't play games. Be kind, don't be desperate. Be true to yourself and truthful in telling him what you need...

No no, the Rules book is bollocks. Forget game playing for one, which is exactly what that book encourgaes you to do.
Be open about your situation, that you have bene hurt, and that you can't just go on dates on a whim- you have babysittign and school nights to consider. I find that it makes it more special when you do get to go out. Presumably since you haven't dated your dd hasn't been introduced to a string of men, which is a good thing. Nothing wrong at all, imo, with him coming over for an evening after you've put her to bed

Relax.

Take it slowly.

Actions speak louder than words.

Enjoy yourself and remember, it's OK for this not to be a long term thing. You are allowed to date, have fun and make choices.

Take it slowly, lay down some ground rules and above all have some fun!

I read something on this board a while ago which I can't remember the exact wording of now but the gist of it was - don't let all your happiness depend on the way this relationship is going. Be busy, make sure you have one or two things (at least!) in your life that interest you and make you feel happy or give you a sense of achievement. This could be as simple as spending time with your DD or your friends, work, any kind of hobby. And make time for these things as well as seeing your new man. Having things to do to keep busy also helps if you have a day or few when you're overthinking things and worrying.

But other than that, keep talking, and be yourself - not who you think he wants you to be :)

BertieBotts - couldnt have said it better myself. Have just ended things with a bloke who i thought would last a while but it turned out we were incompatible and he was too immature in the end.

I am glad for the job i have which i love (teaching) and for my social life and my horse, and all the books i can now get back to reading!!!!
i do feel gutted but im hoping to recover soon as i still have lots to be happy for!!