I can't be certain, but i've noticed that DH is always ill on a Sunday !

[OnEdge]

We have 3 children under 4 and its hard going at times. My husband is really supportive and pulls his weight, but I have noticed recently that most Sundays he will have something wrong which means he needs time out and I have to do most of the work. He has just woken up with severe toothache that has been bothering him all night ( had a filling last week)

I started faffing around as usual, fetching him pain killers and drinks. I suggested that he phone the out of hours service and suddenly he went all " oh no, no need, i will go on Monday to the Dentist"

I have had toothache and there was no way I could wait a further 24+ hours for treatment.

Do you reckon he is taking the piss? I feel rotten for even thinking this.

I think if he was responsible he ought to have sought treatment earlier in the week, I always end up fussing round all concerned. I would love it if he just got up and rang them himself and drove there and had it done. Instead, i have to go onto google, looking for phone numbers and ringing around to try and sort it out.

my head is telling me he ought to just get a grip and sort himself out. my heart is telling me to look after him and be kind, he is in pain.

This behaviour winds me up, when someone is in enough pain or ill enough to be able to not fully particpate in family life, then do something about it.

When you have kids, shouldn't the "fit" one look after family stuff, and the "ill" one bloody well look after themselves, and that includes seeking medical help, or taking the right medication to get well asap.

yes, thanks, its like having a 4th child. i want to be sympathetic, but i also want him to get sorted so he is fit to help us.

fucking men, we are meant to be grateful for them looking after their own kids from time to time.

(sorry bout typing, have a sleeping baby in other arm)

What was wrong with him last Sunday?

It does sound like you have enough to do without babying your DH as well. He should definitely get his own painkillers etc - it only takes a minute and the pain is not in his legs! And he is capable of googling dentists too.

If he develops something every Sunday then he is taking the mickey and you need to get on his case.

well last sunday it was the tooth, but its always debilitating (is that the right word?) on Sundays, so he will be fit for work with the same problem all week, but on Sunday's it seems to become worse It will have magically improved by the morning, but by then I will be fucked, haven't really charged my batteries up ready for the week ahead. He is still asleep now - twat ! But it could possibly be genuine because he is an honest person and considerate, its just a hunch I have. I can't stand sickly people. If I have a cold, I soldier on, some people go all pathetic and can't function. Sometimes, we will get the same illness such as flu or D&V, but guess who is the one who carries on !!

you have a migraine you say? that trumps imaginary toothache in this house....off to bed you go...

fwiw i came home from hospital after having dd when id haemorraged quite badly and when i asked dh for his help he whimpered and moaned and said he had a headache and was TIRED!!

he is actually a nice guy but the slightest cold / headache etc and he is sooooo pathetic (but never misses work)

well I would stop doing things for him and leave him to look after himself and when he gets up YOU go back to bed and say thank goodnes you're better I'm going back to bed I'm exhausted!
Leave him to it. You don't have to soldier on you know.

DH did this a bit when the eldest two were small. He kept saying that he didn't feel well - couldn't specify why, but never really can. He had just started on medication that he will always have to take, so I put it down to side-effects of that. Miraculously, he would always feel better and ready for sex in the evenings - which I was too tired due to having had to run around after him and two children all day.

When I had DC3, a few years later he started again. I knew this time it wasn't due to the medication so had no real sympathy, and he snapped out of it a lot sooner.

I think he was bored and pissed off with the tedium of life with very small children. Being bored and frustrated can make you feel a bit physically ill I think. Sometimes I feel ill at the end of a day stuck in with the DCs, yet when they have gone to bed and I have my dinner and a nice glass of wine I feel a hell of a lot better.

hey balloonslayer I LOVE the sex test !! I am going to do that one, I think he would have to be actually dead before he refused that. Genius !

Oh I DO love MN

Its all attention seeking crap.. My Ex used to do exactly this and its used to piss me off too. Its was all about 'him" so i would end up pussy footing around him, and on tender hooks as to what was wrong. He used to always be unwell. . .and lay it on thick. . .complete liar.. . .
However, when it was time for the pub or his boys night out or whatever he was fine. When it was our night out he was suddenly oh so tired and got a bad tum or headache.