common sense needed here, can you help?

[karen1961]

Anyone up for drilling some sense into a desperate woman? Are you sitting comfortably? Then I will begin.

Married woman, old enough to know better, in unhappy marriage. Starts work a year ago, in a bad place emotionally at home meets dashing work colleague who sweeps her off her feet, passionate affair begins. Get the picture?

A year later on after falling heavily for this man, helping him through the death of his remaining parent, supporting him as I would a husband, sticking with him through loads of other women, he finally decides two weeks ago that a woman he met just previous to myself is one he would like to start a relationship with, even though she will be long distance. He has told me now that our affair and friendship has ended, leaving me absolutely desolate , devasted, heartbroken, rejected and no self esteem. I have sent him a couple of texts giving him a few home truths unfortunately and now he wants nothing to do with me, telling me to stop before the good memories are spoiled. I love this man desperately and his daughter I treated as my own. Where on earth do I go from here? How do I get over this man? he was my best (and only) friend and my world has imploded. Your comments and tellings off would be appreciated

I think it's great :-)

And re: the nearly 50 thing, I'm 47, 2 years ago I was 13 (well nearly 14) stone, had a haircut that made me look like 'a warden from prisoner cell block H' (as a work colleague so delightfully told me), with self-esteem through the floor from lack of affection & appreciation.

Now (yes, one divorce and intense relationship later), am 9.5 stone, size 8 - 10, have completed my first triathlon and am planning the next, have been madly in love and had my heart broken, seem to attract 28 - 30 year olds (I figure its the fact I dont want any babies!), have my own house which I share with my beautiful girls half the time (shared care with ex), bought the car I wanted, rather than the sensible family car, and am in control of my own life. I feel that I can breathe again

So, yes, bits of it are rubbish (esp the heart broken bit), and sometimes I feel lonely, would like those arms around me, but I can honestly say I'd far rather be lonely on my own than lonely as part of a neglected marriage

And not sure why I'm telling you this, other than to let you know there's a whole life out there so go out & grab it!!

karen it might've been too much but it's really funny! Did he reply?

He was a bad lot, but no shame to fall for this kind of serial shmoozer once. They're good at making you fall for them because they have so much practice, I'm afraid. But learn your lesson now, and don't fall for another guy like this. Fool me once - shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

I do sympathise terribly, by the way, but part of the sympathy is knowing how angry you'll be at yourself in the future.