to be concerned that my daughters going to make a big mistake

[pinkstarlight]

my daughter recently came out of a 2 year relationship this guy towards the end did nothing but mess her about causing her heartache and depression to the point she ended up having to see a councilor. she started uni in october living miles from home struggling with depression, being lonely struggling to make friends and being homesick and was a victim of identity theft and had all her money taken from her bank account leaving her with nothing to live on instead of being supportive her b/f only went and dumped her.

it was terrible she cried her eyes out everyday to me on the phone and i was worried sick about her.then after a week her b/f turns up saying hes made a big mistake and hes sorry they get back together then he starts messing her about refusing to take her calls but sending txts to her saying hes annoyed with her refusing to answer why this went on for a month.

during this month she made a new friend who really supported her and eventually he told her he developed feelings for her so she decided to cut her losses and got with this new guy.

they have only been seeing each other a few weeks but the new guy is lovely and treats her so well,her depression has lifted and shes been happier than i have seen her in a long time.

the old b/f has just turned up again giving her the sob story saying he regrets how hes treated her,he cant eat,cant sleep hes really depressed etc just putting her on a guilt trip,anyway she asked me what i thought and i told her hes trying to make you feel guilty he didnt care about you when you was in that position and he most likely only interested because he knows your with someone else.

well she slammed the phone down on me which tells me shes confused and i obviously didnt say what she wanted to hear and shes now switched her phone off.shes also told me her x is coming to visit me over the weekend as he wants to thank me for everything i have done for him for god sake i only cooked him the odd meal,i dont want to see him im furious with him there was a time i thought she might be suicidal.

anyone got any good advice how to deal with my daughter and what to say to her.

thanks everyone we wasnt able to meet up yesterday as where she is all transport and trains got cancelled because of the snow.

we speak on the phone everyday and im glad to say things seem to have settled down again, she seems so much brighter and back to her normal cheeky self lol.

when i asked her yesterday how things are going she gushed "awww mum hes lovely"

im just hoping that flipping x stays away

So pleased Pink. Just keep doing what you're doing and I'm sure she'll be just fine

duna i hope so my daughters travelling home today for a couple of days. shes not heard from her x but hes been in contact with her new b/f via someone elses account on facebook asking him to meet up with him for a chat.my daughters told him not to go but her new b/f has told hes starting to get on his nerves and tempted to go

Oh - he's brought a tear to my eye - he sounds lovely. I hope things work out for them :)

The old bf is a nasty bit isn't he :( Might not be a bad thing if the new bf goes and meets him as long as he does it somewhere that the old bf & his mates can't beat him up :(

I really don't think that the new boyfriend meeting up with the ex is a good idea at all.

The new bloke does sound lovely, so I can see his temptation to meet up with the ex to try and get things settled, but this wierd ex obviously thrives on drama, attention and causing trouble- a meeting between them would only feed this and make the ex more of an 'issue' than he needs to be.

IMO there needs to be no contact/communication between your daughter and her ex (even if it is indirectly)- he sounds like a melodramatic, malicious teenager who should get bored quickly if he's not paid any attention to.

good grief pink, i'm horrified just how far the x will go to manipulate and control.

I agree with Duna, it's a bad idea for the new bf to meet up with the ex. A really bad idea.

He will get drawn into the mindgames of a controller. There is no way he will simply be able to say "look mate - she's my girlfriend now so leave her alone". The x is a nutter imho and this meeting will make things a thousand times worse.

Your dd and her new bf should lay really low for a while until x gets bored. DO NOT FEED HIM.

i agree i have no idea what the x thinks hes playing at,its not like her x and new b/f even know each other.

in the last 24 hours her x has started his texts again,you dont care im depressed, everyones talking about you,you cant trust your b/f,you said we can stay friends and if you was my friend you would check if im ok etc.
she has just ignored him.

aww its lovely to see her so much happier her new b/f keeps texting her and shes all smiles and giggles and full of stories of how he made all his friends cringe and laugh when they went out for a meal and he got down on his knee and sang her a love song.

she has admitted that she still has been having twinges of guilt and sadness that things havent worked out with her x,shes talking about going back for more counciling as she wants to remain strong and move forward with her life.