I fee like a kid in the playground again....

[CDMforever]

Here we go...
A few months ago a new family moved into our small cul-de-sac and me, DH and DCs spent quite alot of time with them. They have one DS. I spent alot of time with the mum at playgroups, going for walks with the DCs etc and DH went for a few drinks with the dad. We also got together as 2 families.
Now for, as far as I'm aware, an unknown reason they seem to be avoiding us and have palled up with some other neighbours without children.
I saw the mum at playgroup the other week. She barely spoke to me and even left without saying goodbye. She did pop in last weekend for a chat and play but things really seemed to have changed.
I know it sounds pathetic but I feel like we're being left out of the new and trendy gang!
My best friend said to just be civil, we've done nothing wrong and perhaps they just feel they have more in common with the other neighbours.
I almost feel like we've been test-driven and rejected!!
I know, you'll cry, get over yourself!!
I've already got loads of friends but can't help feeling rejected....

Forgot to add that we have been very welcoming to them and have introduced them to lots of new people.
Another friend said "Oh, fuck em!"

Personally i think its a bad idea to get freindly with neighbours for this precise reason. Ive done it once , it was a mistake , and ive only ever been polite to all subsequent neighbours.

Continue to be polite when you see her , i think its probably for the best.

Dignified, think you're probably right. Funnily it was always something I swore by - never get too friendly with the neighbours - having seen a friend having a big fall out with hers after having been good friends.
Think I got a bit carried away!
Yes, I will be polite. But me and DH have now decied we're not going to make a huge effort inviting them places etc.

sounds like you may of been used, they went along with it when they were new in the area, and maybe feeling a little unsure of themselves, but now they have settled in and got to know people they don't need you and have started to create some distance between you,

You may be right though not sure if they're that manipulative??

I suppose that may be a possibility. I do know there's been some issues with her DH recently.
Though having seen her with the other neighbours recently she didn't look unhappy.
I feel I'm getting a little obsessed with the whole situation which is ridiculous and very childish.
And there could be so many reasons for them cooling off. Maybe they just don't like us as much as they thought they did
Its almost like I'm at school and have been given the new girl to look after, who then promptly goes off and makes other friends!! God I'm sad. Think I need a hobby.

maybe they had just had enough of you?

i got friendly with my next door neighbour when she moved in. it was ok at the start but it became claustrophobic after a while. she expected that we would be going everywhere together. i had to distance myself. maybe that' is what has happened here.

Yes booyhoo, that could be the case too...Maybe we'll never know.
What has shocked me about the whole thing is how needy and pathetic I've found myself. Didn't know I had it in me!
Wish I'd listened to myself about not getting friendly with the neighbours!!
Not the end of the world I guess. Just a bit of bad feeling on my part which I think I need to forget about and MOVE ON!

yep. i learned my lesson too and have refrained from getting close to neighbours just because they're neighbour IYSWIM. i have been here 5 years now and have only just started getting friendly (in that she has been in for a cuppa) with one other neighbour. my ds is her dd's best friend, so we have sort of been made to get to know each other a bit aswell.

Cd , if they have "used" you i doubt it was deliberate . They were new to the area and probably would have gratefully accepted invitations out from anyone ( i dont mean that how it sounds )

Now theyre feeling a bit more comfortable and confident in the area theyre probably feeling like they might get along with others better . If its any consolation i have initially got freindly with people at work then after a while realised that actually , while theyre nice people , theyre just not for me and i knew we werent going to click.

Meant to add , she sounds like she was a bit rude to you at playgroup , possibly shes going to be high maintenance , in which case youve had a lucky escape i think. Maybe shes offended at some perceived slight , but either way , it is rude .

Youll probably see a similar thing happen with other neighbours until shes sifted through who is her " type " iyswim. And i think its just like the new girl at aschool thing , mine have always been excited about the new best freind at school , they always go off dont they.

I think, Dignified, that is probably the long and short of it. Just wasn't very nice being on the receiving end of it but if I can think of them as just neighbours (which is what they basically are going to be) then I suppose I don't feel as hurt.
Its not as if I don't have lots of other friends, because I do, LOTS AND LOTS....oh dear methinks I've reverted to being an eight year old
The more I think about it the more I wonder how the friendship would have developed anyway. Her DH isn't the easiest person to talk to and he can be very negative and bitchy. Its funny, its almost more important that they possibly don't like us than the fact that we may not like them!!
What would a psychologist make of this I wonder? Don't answer that one

Just got your last post dignified.
Yes I suppose she was a bit rude. Maybe a lucky escape..things happen for a reason etc etc etc!

The H sounds a cock really , bitching isnt a nice quality in anyone , and especially not in a man.

Either way , i think youve had a very lucky escape. Maybe theyve realised your not into bitching or being negative so theyve wandered off to find like minded people , and i mean that

As your freind says ,Fuck Em.

The thing is the mum seemed genuinely nice but I spose when married we come as a package socially??
Woke up today and decided to forget about all this and as most of the MN have said, be polite but keep my distance.
It really helped getting everyone's advice
Dignified, you're right about men who bitch. It is even less attractive in a man. Why so I wonder??

i had affiar with my neighbours husband.... then he left her and moved in with me and we r great 8 yrs on!!!

Blimey, so much for not mixing with the neighbours!!

Are you new by any chance ?

A bit! Why do you ask?

Because talk of affairs ect normally go down like a hot turd.

dignified :)

Oh I thought you meant me

I had the exact same thing - only my neighbours persuaded us to lower our fence first so that now we can see everything in their garden and our children are now upset when they're not invited over anymore and other neighbours children are always there. I wish I'd left the bloody fence alone.

Neighbours are a pain in the arse i find. I glare at mine occasionally to make it clear that im not freindly