Do I remind him?

[TheGoddessBlossom]

It is DH's 40th on Saturday. I have arranged a massive party, and bought him a great present. It is our 10 year Wedding anniversary tomorrow. I couldn't be 100%, but I am about 99% sure he will forget/has forgotten. I have got him a card and some new aftershave.

Do I remind him today and prevent him feeling bad? Or do I give in to my feeling that it is all one way traffic round here and use his inability to remember our wedding anniversary as further proof of that...? Not that that will make me feel better...

Not sure...what do you think?

Bloss

xx

I'd drop a heavy hint about the anniversary. Does he usually remember?

I think I usually remind him...

Drop a hint, better to feel aggrieved that he may have forgotten than have him actually forget IMO.

if you don't mention it and he has forgotten then you'll both feel crap tomorrow

what about suggesting an 'anniversary takeaway' or something, to jog his memory wihout making it obvious that you think he's forgotten?

Excellent suggestion Madre - I like it.

I used it a few times [weary smile]

I would remind him too. Just to avoid any upset. But I wouldn't let him know I was reminding him, I would just snuggle up to him tonight and say something like 'I'm so excited about tomorrow' or 'just think what we were both doing this time 10yrs ago' and take it from there.

Nothing worse than being disappointed, knowing you could have prevented that disappointment.

I'm the opposite.

I'd let him forget. If he hasn't forgotten, then you'll be pleased (and wouldn't if you'd reminded him just in case) and if he has forgetten, you'll feel like shit but then you do now so what's the difference.

That way, he'll have at take responsibility for the shitness and man up with a good gift to make amends. If you remind him, he'll get off scott free.

Reminding him is a lose-lose IMO.

So did he remember?

Hopefully he did and that's why you have better things to do than be on Mumsnet

I'd find his phone and write it in his calender, with a reminder 5mins before he has to leave work or go for lunch.

Get his Mum, your Mum/sister/best friend to ring and remind him

oh.
Thanks to this thread I just remembered it is our wedding anniversary tomorrow. I just cant quite remember how long we have been married. 1997. 13 years? wow.

Congratulations on your anniversary yesterday!

hang on, yours is today!

Get somebody to call and remind him.

no it isnt.

I am a daft moo.

gets coat

So I was on the train yesterday morning and one of DH's friends happened to also get on. We were chatting away and I happened to mention it was our anniv and I thought dh had forgotten. Got home to a beautiful card and I diamond necklace! So in the end I did remind him but via a friend! And I truly did not know that his friend would phone him and tell him! Didn't realise blokes did that kind of thing!!!! :-) x

I would remind him.

But on another point, I don't understand how anyone can ever 'forget' anniversaries, birthdays, etc, of their significant other. To really forget, their partner would have had to not mention the upcoming occasion at all. That is something that I could just not do! Maybe I talk too much, maybe I'm a gobby old cow, but I get excited about these things and I talk talk talk about them in the run up.. Poor DH could never use the 'I forgot' excuse with me!

Is it just me?

I deliberately don't go on and on about them.... Just to see who can be bothered to remember me when I spend my whole year remembering others. I am not giving to receive, I love giving presents, I just find it sorts the wheat from the chaff...