OH and I are going through a tough time just now. I am SAHM and he works all hours so we can make ends meet. We have no money just now as we are paying back a lot of debts etc and are just keeping our heads above water. I have been trying to get evening/weekend work as going back part/full time to my old type of job (even if I could get an interview) would mean spending my earnings on childcare so I wouldn't bring home enough to make a difference. He would then not be able to do any overtime if I was working evenings/weekends and he gets a lot LOT more money than I would but then he doesn't want me "sitting around the house" which is obviously not what I do with a 2yo to look after.
Anyway, although we agreed on our situation practically, there is still a bitchy nastiness underlying everything and he just seems extremely resentful of me ATM. I can epathise but it is horrible to be on the receiving end when I can't actually do anything to sort out the issue which is he doesn't want me "sitting about the house" but he doesn't want me working when he could do overtime.
This has lead to me getting fed up of his constant snidey comments eg leaving for work this morning (I was up at 6am with LO and he left for work at 7am so he can see I have a long day too which I wouldn't even normally bring up but I feel I have to justify my every MOVE these days) and he was all amazing dad with LO (which is fab cos they LOVE each other so much) but then turns to me like he kind of switches off the nice guy routine and straight faced goes "Shouldn't u have your clothes on yet son?" since LO is still in his PJ's.... at 7am! Duh. Then he made a comment when leaving about the "dishes in the sink again..." since HIS beer glass from last night and the breakfast dishes from DS brekkie aren't washed yet... Sigh. It's like this all the time.
Thing is that I have started doing it back. I will make comments like "Oh, what time did you get in yesterday?" because he'll say he's working late at the weekend then we get home from the shops and he is sitting playing PS3. DS will go to bed then we are alone together and he will just go online and kind of ignore me most of the time or I will ask about his day, get his whole story then he doesn't ask me anything about mine. If I start to tell him what we have been doing he will just blankly turn to the telly and start messing about with the volume or something until I just give up. Another thing was I actually put on some makeup and nice clothes to go to his sisters the other evening and when I walked into the room he looked up and kind of did the "Oh!" face as if he was about to say "Oh you look nice" and he actually stopped himself. It's like he wants me to suffer for the fact that we are in financial difficulties-as is everyone these days- and we are just winding each other up A LOT.
By the way, it's not ALL the time but sneaking into too much time that we are getting at each other. I asked him about his day the other day and then started tidying up so he knows what it's like when he ignores me when I am talking but he just goes in a real huff if I am not 100% listening and I get the silent treatment for the rest of the evening. If he seems down and I ask him if he's OK I get the "WILL YOU STOP ASKIN ME THAT!" then a couple days later he will tell me "That really bugged me the other night when you X,Y,Z" instead of just telling me at the time and I end up walking on eggshells again.
I am so sorry this is long but I really need to get it out of my head so I can try to enjoy my time with DS before OH gets home and I have to wonder what kind of evening we will have tonight. I so hate this. I wish I was stronger.