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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

single mum, new bf advice please

4 replies

LRKIDS · 21/09/2005 17:21

i am a single mum to ds 5 yrs old and have recently met someone who i think i could have a future with. i have tried all ways of 'putting him off' i.e. he knows about ds and is not bothered one bit, he knows ds father is taking me through court atm, still not bothered.
we've talked for hours about what sort of relationship we both want and we match perfectly, i cannot find a single thing wrong with him. my only problem is how and when to introduce ds to him, he came round last night when ds was in bed but ds was not asleep and saw him, i went to sort ds out and he asked who the man was, i just said a friend. ds knows i have lots of male friends (who are just friends) and he loves them all to bits. i dont like the idea of lying to ds but dont want to see him get hurt.
my 'friend' has had an ex who had a child so he knows what to expect from a long term relationship involving a child but i dont iykwim, this will be my first serious relationship since i split with ds father whom we do not have any contact with other than through court.
i dont have the money to get a babysitter that often so for the relationship to move on ds is going to have to meet him. i was thinking of taking ds to a farm nearby and was thinking of asking my new partner to come along as well, so we won't be on ds territory and it can be more informal. does anyone think i am right in doing this or am i acting too soon?
Thanks
p.s. sorry this is a bit long

OP posts:
Amanda1 · 21/09/2005 18:12

Message withdrawn

aloha · 21/09/2005 18:15

I think it sounds absolutely perfect. And you aren't lying when you say he is your friend. He is your friend. You aren't acting too soon. It will be fine!
BTW I am a stepmother who met my dh when his daughter was six, and met her very soon after we met as we knew we were in a serious relationship and would get married etc. First few 'dates' were at the park etc. Your ds may be a little jealous once he realises that the relationship is serious, but you can work through that as you are clearly a very sensible and sensitive person. Good luck and have fun!

aloha · 21/09/2005 18:33

Oh, and I did stay over from fairly early on and there were, perhaps oddly, no awkward questions. We did lots of fun things together and I think she rather liked having someone around who really understood Barbies - maybe your ds will feel the same about a nice man who knows about football.

LRKIDS · 21/09/2005 21:07

thanks for the advice i think i will probably leave things a couple more weeks and if i still feel the same may well plan a trip out and see what happens. thanks again x

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