I'm feeling really alone and unimportant in my relationship. I feel dreadfully unhappy and like I'm stuck in a swamp IYSWIM!. I have been seeing a counsellor for the past 2 weeks and this has really brought it to the fore (previously I just thought it was just boredom and drudgery which often accompanies young DCs) - she agrees I need to make a decision so I can focus on other areas of my life which need attention.
Basically I feel completely unimportant in my P's life. He is not abusive as such although I feel some of his behaviours border on it.
Some examples of why I feel like this:
He works IMO ridiculously long hours as he is saving up to open a business. I'm talking 7 days a week 14 hour shifts in a taxi! When I suggest or even lay it down that he doesn't spend enough time with me and the kids and this is unsustainable even in the short-term he says my conditions are "unattainable" and those are the hours he has to put in. I work FT too and pay half the bills. I feel like we are strangers as I see him for half an hour a day if I'm lucky and the kids probably see him less.
He has about one half day every 2 weeks off and he will plan something to do for himself but then invite me / DCs as an 'after-thought'. Frequently I've had to trial around with his mates of an afternoon just to spend some time with him. 
I feel he may just be inviting me as he doesn't want to be "nagged".
He NEVER phones or texts me during work, and if I phone him he sounds really annoyed "What is it?? Iam driving!"
This spills into day-to-day life as well. When I try to make small talk with him ie - kids Christmas gifts , he gives a polite-but-off "hmmm" but looks like he is bored out of his skull.
I asked him to stay at his mums 5 mins away as I had a cold and like to languish alone when I have that, and he seemed to love it and stayed an extra 2 nights even after I said I was feeling better - I had to phone him twice and ask before he finally said "I will be back tonight ok?" in an angry tone. I think if I hadn't phoned he would likely stay there forever
He rarely does anything thoughtful for me. When I had an operation recently I had to spell it out to him "I will be ill for a couple of days so I will NEED you to pick me up and get in relatively early for a couple of days as I need to recover" If I didn't explicitly point it out, he would have ignored it / "forgot".
Although the other day he did pick me and DD up at the bus stop and drive us to the school un-asked and out of the blue? Just not consistent at all.
Things between us weren't always like this but have been for a good while now. Things have got even worse since he started these insane hours.
I used to have a high sex drive but not anymore and I know it's psychological because all his behaviour (to me it seems) signifies he doesn't want me. So I have rejected his advances alot and now he doesn't even try to have sex any more.
I have asked him outright if he wants us to split or thinks it would be best but he just says "No I don't want to split but if you keep harrassing me I might say yes to that" (this is the part which strikes me as abusive?)
This is not good is it?
Does anyone have any advice for me?
Sorry about the huge post, was letting it all out!