OW got a prize one here

[Waarghh]

So at work one of the senior managers started sniffing around.

We got on well but I wasn't interested in him at all because he was married.

A couple of months later he told me he had seperated from his wife because she was (paraphrasing) deranged.

I was a bit suspicious but frankly enjoyed the attention.

Then a couple of months later we were flirting a bit more and I went back with him to his new place which he was clearly living in. No sign of wife.

So I assumed he was telling the truth about his marriage but couldn't work out why he was so hot and cold, I thought maybe it's too soon or that he would prefer someone more attractive.

A few more encounters and I thought this is going somewhere, and started to really like him. A LOT.

What he hadn't told me was that he had left his wife for another woman who had also left her husband for him.

So he wasn't cheating on his wife, he was cheating on OW!

I was upset to find this out but it stopped my attraction dead in it's tracks. I don't find people in relationships attractive.

It's put me off men a bit.

I haven't had to see him at work yet. Not looking forward to it.

Yes, I would definitely say that some men fall prey to manipulative women as well - i.e.some people fall prey to manipulative people be it in marriages or in extra-marital affairs or indeed in business or other walks of life - and very often some of the kindest, gentlest people do because, as I said, it would never occur to them to lie or use someone for their own ends and they have no guard up at all - as Waargh says here, it just didn't occur that a man who said he was single wasn't single and she even saw the evidence in that he has his own place with no sign of a partner. This is not to say that there aren't others who go eyes wide-open into situations of course.

Thus Waargh is now more prepared, more armed and hopefully will be asking more questions in the future while not feeling too hurt to ever trust again...and hopefully Waargh you'll keep working on that self-esteem so that you can come to believe you deserve more than some no strings sex when this doesn't seem to be what you really want.

I do agree though that it should be taught to every young woman to not fall for the line of any married man who says that their wife doesn't like sex/is deranged/cruel/only interested in the kids - and in the rare, rare cases where it happens to be true and not for reasons other than she is just exhausted with running the home and caring for the DCs with little support or help from H, he should be told in no uncertain terms to go and sort it out because, if he cared for said woman, he wouldn't want to drag her in to the mess until it was cleared up.