Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

How do you go about legally getting someone out of the house?

22 replies

spikeycat · 20/08/2003 14:09

Quick question (for a friend - Honest!)

If two people are husband and wife and have a joint mortgage and 4 children under 16 but the relationship is breaking down but neither one will move out how can the situation be resolved?

The mental abuse and arguments are beginning to damage the whole family so any advice would be appreciated or if anyone has gone through something similar - thanx

OP posts:

Jemma7 · 20/08/2003 15:27

I would be interested to know the answer to this too - not that i am planning to split up with DP but would be interested to know where i stand should it happen as we have a joint mortgage too

princesspeahead · 20/08/2003 15:46

if it can't be agreed between the parties eg as part of a separation, then it needs to go to court as part of separation/divorce proceedings and the court will resolve it with reference to the best interests of the children, as the first priority, and with reference to the financial settlement as a whole, with second priority I think (but others on here will know better).

Original poster

spikeycat · 20/08/2003 15:48

Another question....If one of them chucks the others stuff out and changes the locks can the police force them to let them back in?

OP posts:

Boe · 20/08/2003 16:24

If there is abuse I am sure that a solicitor can order one party out of the house.

Get your friend to go and see a solicitor immediately!!

Original poster

spikeycat · 30/08/2003 12:13

Right, it really was for someone else last week but now its for me. please please let me know if anyone has the answer to this.

The balloon has gone up in our relationship and I will not tollerate the threat of being hit, esp. when I am pg!

We own the house together and until I had ds 8 months ago paid an equal amount in the mortgage. We are not married but were engaged if this makes a dif?

OP posts:

Jenie · 30/08/2003 12:18

Call the police and change the locks whilst his out. Remember to change the backdoor lock aswell. Tell the police what you're going to do and to expect another call when your partner arrives home. Get a friend or 3 to stay with you for a few days and contact a solicitor 1st thing Monday.

Looking after the children counts as a contribution towards the mortgage.

Jenie · 30/08/2003 12:20

You shouldn't have to put up with his terrible behaviour, and you also shouldn't be left homeless because of fear. You're doing the right thing, it can't be easy and you're being brave. You don't want your children to see this kind of thing on tv let alone at home.

Original poster

spikeycat · 30/08/2003 12:22

he hasn't got any keys, I took tham all so I know for sure, do you still think I need to change the locks. Major problem is that we exchanged on a new house on friday, can you still back out of a sale when you have exchanged but not completed?

OP posts:

GeorginaA · 30/08/2003 13:36

Yes, spikeycat but you will lose the deposit I think. You may also be liable for the costs of your buyers. Check with the solicitor.

LIZS · 30/08/2003 14:01

I'm not a legal expert but thought possession of house was down to the registration of the property (joint tenants/tenants in common)rather than who paid the mortgage although I think a court can take that into account in a settlement. Could you contact the solicitor handling the sale to check how yours is currently registered and your position re: new house ?

Hope you get sorted out spikeycat

Original poster

spikeycat · 30/08/2003 14:14

we oen the house so if he dies his half goes in to his estate and the same with me, its the way most unmarried couples own?

He jsut came and picked up the casr of is stuff I left in the back garden. He asked me what the problem was!! I asked him for an apologie, needless to say I didn't get one

Typical that ds has just started saying da da dad, breaking my heart it is

OP posts:

Spod · 30/08/2003 14:16

you probably already know this... but my sister found them helpful when she had similiar situation... she phoned her local citizens advice bureau... they deal with these things all the time... can give you free advice on your legal situation.. tell you where you stand etc... you can get appointments to go and see them if you need too. also, because of the stress it caused her at the time, she talked to her doctor about it so that it was noted in her records should she need evidence of how long the situation had gone on for.

aloha · 30/08/2003 21:58

You can get an injunction to keep him away from you if he is threatening violence. Being engaged has no legal status sadly. When/if you split (and if he's violent you are best off without him IMO, and I am very sorry it has come to this) you are entitled to half the house and maintenance for the children via the CSA of 20 per cent of his net income (after tax). See a solicitor to keep him away from you and to sort out a sale of the house. You do no, I am very sad to say, have the same legal protection as a married woman.

aloha · 30/08/2003 22:15

Meant to add, but the court can prevent a sale of the property until your child is 18, which means you may have the right to stay in the home until then. You wil have to sell up, but it may not be for a long time. You do need to consult a solicitor as this is a tricky area, legally. Good luck.

mammya · 30/08/2003 22:32

Spikeycat, I did the same, changed the lock while he was out, because he was being violent, so I understand what you're going through, so sorry, it's horrible, but you're being very brave. It won't be easy but you'll be much happier without him. No advice on mortgage I'm afraid as we were renting.
Thinking of you. Keep posting if it helps.

bossykate · 31/08/2003 07:29

spikeycat, well done for being so brave and taking a stand immediately, as others have said, please get legal advice as soon as you can.

good luck.

doormat · 31/08/2003 09:42

spikeycat lots of love and cyberhugs coming your way.
As everyone suggests get legal advice ASAP, aloha injuction brilliant idea.

Also contact a domestic violence helpline that will put you in touch with a local area representative or meeting place.They should be able to tell what you can and cant do.They surely will be able to log it all down to help you in your case.

If he comes in threatening etc dont hesitate to get the police.Domestic violence is now zero tolerance with the police and they will arrest him.
Hope this helps in some way but let us know how yoiu are getting on.

Batters · 31/08/2003 12:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

motherinferior · 31/08/2003 14:20

Just to add support to everyone else's excellent advice.

Original poster

spikeycat · 01/09/2003 10:01

thanks evertone. he came back on saturday night threatening to kick the door down, like a wimp I let him in as i was worried about the neighbours. We haven't spoken and he has slept on the sofa. I am going to see citizens advice today.

The saddest thing is we are arguning as his ex-wife keeps making up bullshit I have said to sd's. (totally untrue and she has done this before). The saddest thing is he believes her over me, despite the ridiculous things that she listed in his own divorce petitition that were untrue about him, suddenly she is mother teresa and would never lie!

OP posts:

bunny2 · 01/09/2003 13:44

Spikeycat, what a dreaful situation to be in. I fell out with my ex-husband when he chose to believe the wife of a friend of his instead of me. He knew this woman was liar and wanted to make trouble for me but he still chose to believe her lie (according to her I said I had only married *** for his money). On the grounds of her lie he asked for a divorce. The sheer rage and frustration of not being believed was so awful. Good luck with getting some advice, you'll do the right thing.

SuzySue · 01/09/2003 14:37

I went through all this at the beginning of this year when dd was 6months and I was just going nack to work.

It get's easier - just stand your ground and he'll probably back down. Every time he hits you/threatens you tell the police. The more he does, the worse he makes himself look and thats good for you in the long run.

I could rant and rave for ages about this but I'll try not to.

Cheeky tip though - solicitors can be really expensive if you don't get legal-aid but lots offer free consultations so make use of these free consultations to get advice when you need it. I've been to 3 different solicitors for advice now and not had to pay a penny.

Flip