DH's parents are extremely wealthy, this is due to the success of PIL's business which he has recently retired from (MIL been a sahm since DH was born and not worked since - DH now 28). They are very generous when it comes to gifts, they invite us on lovely holidays with them and host wonderful dinners at their home - for which we are very grateful. They associate with people who are similarly wealthy - mainly PIL's business associates - MIL if friends with their wives, but they also get on very well with my parents, who are comfortable on the whole, but live much more modest lives.
Both of my parents still work and my mum is struggling at the minute as she is self employed and her business has been hit by the credit crunch etc. OUr dc1 is due in January and both sets of parents are very excited. My mum has been knitting, making things for the nursery, buying little bits and bobs, whilst PIL have offered to help decorate nursery - I am incredibly grateful to have such supportive parents.
A while ago, however, MIL made a comment to my mum along the lines of "Well, it's traditional for the grandparents to but the cot or the pushchair so which one do you want to get?" I think my mum was a bit put out by this as whilst they will happily contribute what they can afford, they felt a bit backed into a corner and resented the implications of the question. Last week, MIL was asking dh which item we wanted the money towards and how much, then she said she was going to ring my mum to ask her about it!
I really feel that MIL should not do this - I do no think my mum will take kindly to it and am not sure if my parents would be able to afford to contribute to either at the minute, nor do I expect them to - we have already ordered and paid both items ourselves and do not expect contributions, but MIL seems to really want to contribute and dh thinks we should just accept their help.
MIL is very naive about money - she just doesn't realised that not everyone is in her very fortunate position (for example, she suggested that dh and I could employ a nanny for dc?! as if!?). How would you go about advising her against contacting my mum in regards to this, without upsetting her?