Family Xmas

[MillieMummy]

Have deliberatly not put this in AIBU because I know I am; I am interested to know if there are other MN's out there who feel like I am in the run up to Xmas.

We are doing a big family Xmas with DP's extended family, about 15 people in total from 5 different families and we haven't all been together like this before.

I am beginning to see that this is not going to be easy - different people have different ideas about how it should be organised and what we are going to do when and there are daily emails flying around already. A big part of me now thinks that I would rather just be on my own with my DP and DC's rather than have to try and accommodate the wishes of so many other people - TBH I feel sad that my I am going to 'loose' a Xmas with my DC's which are precious as they are only young once. I realise that does sound selfish and that the DC's should have the oportunity to see their wider family.

There is also the thorny money issue - how is this devided fairly; should it be split evenly or based on ability to pay?

What can I do to make myself look forward to this rather than dread?

Been there done that ironed the teeshirt.
Best way I think is to do what best suits you and your DP. Email everybody else and tell them how it's going to be and let them fit in with you.

And instead of asking others to chip in get them to bring a food item each.

Thanks for all the messages - I feel so less alone !

The big issue which I left of my OP was that we are not going to be at any of our houses as we have hired somewhere - nobody is the offical host and so everyone is chipping in saying what they want to do/eat/drink !

We made an early mistake I think by trying to make group decisions on the menu - sometime committee's don't work !

Been there too and managed to shrink the t-shirt in the wash!!!

Someone needs to take charge really, a Project Manager if you like!

We have 2 Christmas days here as DH's family are all over the place at Christmas. They are actors, dancers, sound engineers etc so Panto season hits us hard!

I hosted the last one as DS has SN so it made sense rather than cart medical and feeding equipment across the country.

I asked people to bring food, mom brought Christmas pud, BIL brought his own desert as doesn't do pud, SIL brought booze, someone else brought crackers, etc......

We bought the turkey and the trimmings. Job done!

Oh, and the cook (me) DOES NOT WASH UP in this house!

I'd consider sharing jobs out. Maybe putting a list together of who could do what and e-mail to everyone, see what response you get?

At the end of the day, you're not really going to be able to please everyone so just do what you can to make sure you enjoy the day.

Good luck!!

I would personally ditch the idea and start again...whose idea was it to start with?

It sounds like a massive nightmare but then I dislike most of my family.