My Ex is still a total utter PRATT !!

[maltesers]

Anyone else still struggling with a total incompetent Ex who always:-
a) never keeps you informed of his plans till they happen or the trip is booked .
b) Does his best to make you feel poor, penniless and needy.
c) gives our DS such a fab time he never wants to come home.
d) continues to put DS to bed very late so when he returns he is totally knackered and grumpy.
e) rarely washes Ds and he smells fowl !!!

Is there a one way ticket to Mars for my Ex ?
He is a total !!!!!!!!!!!!

Its all petty childish stuff done to piss you off as much as poss, just try your best to rise above it, one day he will see it doesn't have the desired effect he will stop, and eventually your DS will start to voice his own opinion, just think if he was anything other than a pratt you would prob of still been with him.

I don't get it, honestly. Why should he inform you of his plans? Why shouldn't he give your DS a great time? Should he make it miserable for him so you feel better?

You sound very bitter, OP. If that's all there is, I would recommend you to stop worrying about your ex so much and move on with your life.

It's good that DS has a great time with him. It's also the nature of being the absent parent that he only has to deal with the good stuff, not the bad stuff when DS comes back home.

The other bits are designed to get a reaction, which they clearly are doing.

Do your best to rise above and remember why he is your ex.

I split with my first husband when DD1 was a baby, and up until she was about 5, he and his parents (he lived with them) would do as much as possible to spite me and make sure I had a difficult time with her when she got home. She was allowed to do whatever she wanted whilst there, eat what she wanted even if it was chocolate all day, and was put to bed very late. The ex-MIL was letting her do things like stay in the bath all day (and I honestly mean ALL day), and go out to town in the freezing winter wearing only a Snow White costume and dressing up sandals because "she didn't want to wear her coat". Also they never washed her or even brushed her hair or teeth.

Hence then she would be in spoilt-brat mode when she got home and it would take a good few days of routine and consistent standards from my DH and I before she'd be back to herself.

He has since remarried though and I'm glad to say that as soon as he met his DW he took a more balanced view about seeing DD, and started being a more normal, less indulgent parent to her. She is now 12 and actually doesn't like going to his that much as she says he is now very strict (he and his wife have children now). He still doesn't make her have a bath or shower whilst she's there though......

I totally agree too with Techlovingdad's post; rise above it and be grateful you're not with him anymore.

My Ex should inform me of his plans when my DS is involved, , ,otherwise what my Ex does is no concern of mine.
Our DS was booked into a childrens xmas party here.
A carol concert in which he is a chorister and may have got a solo part , and I am so upset that i will now not see him on xmas eve at Midnight Mass, Xmas Day etc. . .
So, AURYNNE its not that i havent moved on its the fact that i have custody and if Ex wants to take my DS away abroad he should ask first not book something abroad and then tell me.

maltesers thats a bit extreme - are you saying your ex has booked Christmas away without consultation on who would be having ds this Christmas?

If so that is disgraceful and I would tell him you hope he can get a refund on the holiday because its not happening.

He's booked Christmas away without asking you??

That's an awful thing to do, although all the other things are very annoying too I think you have to rise above them.

My ds's are a lot older now and I can not tell you how lovely it is NOT to have to deal with xh! He's still a twunt though.. .

Yes he booked xmas away when i thought that our Ds was staying at his dads locally (8 miles away) and he would be able to sing in church as usual as he is a Chorister. . .
This is the 3rd time my Ex has done it. . . so if there is a next time. . . .well, it isnt happening...... ggrrrhhhh !!!

Hi,

How old is your DS? If the child is very upset with the trip abroad (& missing a party and service) then you should raise it with your ex but if the upset is yours then I think you might have to let it go.

It does depend on the child but some kids would be much happier having time away. It can also work for the adults i.e , if it's just him and your son then going away could be more enjoyable and easier.
It brilliant your son has a great time with his dad - just the best for him and he will be gratefully to both of his parents if they gave him caring experiences in life.