yet more FIL problems

[nailpolish]

now he has asked dh and dh's brother if they will go on holiday with him.

my BIL and my dh have both recently inherited £1000 from their mums elderly aunt who died last year. BIL has given his wife £500 to go shopping in new york with her mates, and he is keeping the rest to go on holiday with FIL in march, 2 nights in san francisco and 4 nights in vegas. they want dh to go with them.

now when they sprung this on dh, he said no immediately
a because he doesnt want to go away for so long without me and the girls

b because we want to keep the money for other things

c because his dad would never have gone on holiday without his wife

but FIL and BIL are angry, thinking im moaning and complaining, telling dh he cant go, and the truth is i havent said anything to dh

they are so possessive its not true

sorry if this is waffling, i needed to write it down to get it sorted

good for your DH.

at his family.

I wouldn't waste the money on a trip away without my family either.

thank you

they are so bloody possessive of him its not true

i feel so left out of his family

he goes to his dads once a week for tea and me and the girls are never invited

And lets face it £500 is not going to cover 2 nights in San Francisco and 4 in Vegas is it?

no, i dont suppose it would

but FIL and BIL are loaded, money no object. they would give dh the rest of the money

Good for your Dh in saying no without you even having to say anything...
Hope you and your family enjoy the money

Oh no!!!!
He's up to his old tricks!
What a nutter.

Good for your dh! Sounds like a good bloke.

I agree. Can be hard when the pressure is on from family members but he stood his ground and his family came first..good on him i say!!

Book a weekend away and enjoy the money!

he has since said "well if you wont let your husband go on holiday with his family (ie BIL and FIL) would you let me pay for a villa in Majorca, me (FIL) dh the girls and you"

WTF???? i dont get this man. maybe he is trying to make me feel guilty or gratuitous or something

so, he wants to pay for a villa in spain for this time next year, me dh the girls and FIL

what would you do? if i say no will i be cutting my nose off to spite my face, if i say yes will i have to be eternally grateful

He said this to you directly? You need to straighten out the first part of his comment with him before you go onto his 'generous offer'! Tell him you have never once said that DH 'can't go on holiday with his family' nor have you made him beleive this.. and tell him that you feel sad that he thinks this of you. And also explain how DH feels on the matter (while you are at it.) May as well get it all out into the open! It might make for a slightly easier relationship in the future.

If this was my DH's family, the opportunity for discussion of any kind would not come up.. they all stick their heads in the sand and insist on thinking a certain way (usually the way that my 'on-the-surface-inoffensive' MIL has stated that they should think.) Take the opportunity to communicate! You might then be able to accept the offer of the family holiday in a way that makes you - and FIL - feel good about it... and everybody 'wins' to some degree.

SJ x

thanks SJ

dh is going to his dads tonight for his weekly tea, and he is going to tell his dad straight it wasnt me. he says he has told him before

(ps - i want to go to majorca! i need a holiday)