"i have children" tell them pre first date or on the first date?????

[WarriorQueen]

Hi

I have met a nice man and I would like to go out for a drink with him (he has asked me out)

this will be my first date since i broke up with my husband around 6 months ago. I am not looking for anything heavy just some fun really, i want to dip a toe back into the dating world ifyswim.

anyway my question is:

at what point do I tell him i have 2 children??
I want to be fair to him (i am aware that this will put quite a lot of men off!) but at the same time it seems strange fro me to just blurt it out - part of me thinks that i should tell him on the first date but the other part thinks i should tell him beforehand to give him the chance to back out ???????

In that case, if you end up having a long chat before the date then drop it into the conversation but otherwise wait till the date, he didnt ask if you had kids so dont think it will be an issue really

Hoe it goes well and i'm looking forward to hearing all about it :o

And i also agree with you ihopeyoucandance

obviously i mean Hope lol

I'd probably drop it in on the first date - casually like, and not making a big deal of it.

If you'd met him online I'd be making damn sure I told him before though. Almost all dating websites have a "do you ahve children" box, and if you've said no, or left it blank and don't tell them then it's not on

I'm another one saying 'tell him on the date' (what both AnotherMum & Soverign (& others) said.

When are you seeing him?

(Baroque - she met him when out with friends, he didn't ask but has asked her out)

I know - that's why I agree 1st date casual drop in is fine

If I had told my (now) DH that I had a child before we went on a date, we wouldn't be together now. (He told me this, shallow fucker). Anyway, I'm trying to say people can make huge assumptions about you just based on one fact. If he had told me he had spent time in prison before we dated, I doubt we would be together now!

candlestick maker... is being together a good thing? Given he's a 'shallow fucker'?

seeing him not this weekend but next; just arranged it [gulps!!]

I hope you have a lovely night.

That's a long time away????

i know i am busy this week so could only do then he did not seem to mind though

Anyone seen the Friends episode when Chandler is going out with the girl who has a false leg - she dumps him because he has a third nipple.

Never, ever think of your children as a liability! I think, though, that I'd bring it up in a text and say something like, "Yes, Saturday's fine, I've got the babysitter sorted."

The thing I would hate would be if the person I was on a date with kept criticising his ex - even if she's a lunatic I'd rather he said very little about it and was diplomatic.

Don't tell him. Ever.

Whenever you can't see him because of the kids just say you're seeing other men, and if he meets them claim in turn that they are a) elves b) the neighbours' c) you've never seen them.

I don't think that people think of their children as a liability - more that we're aware of the fact that some men (and women) don't want to get involved in a relationship with someone who has children - regardless of how fabulous that person is.

They are quite a major "addition" to your self and do radically change the way you have to live

I have no issues with men that don't want to get involved with me because I have children, just think it's fair to let them know earlier rather than later.

If that makes sense?

dont plan when, just when it comes up, whether its a 'what do you do?'
'well actually I only work part timebecause of children' or 'what did you do today?' ' I took my 4 yr old out to...'

Its not a bad thing, it may put someone off- true but it may not, or maybe after spending an hour with you he will already really like you and even if it would have put him off originally it wont when he knows he;s already intersted in you etc...