Hi all, I was thinking for couple of days if I should post it here or not..
Am just so troubled and distressed :(
I have to start with saying that am Christian and that's why it's more difficult for more to choose what to do.
My husband of 6 years told me the main reason why he got married is because of papers! and he doesn't love me any more! I was so shocked! our pastor from church was just around and heard it to..
After we were on our own(pastor gone and our children in bed dd4 and dd8months) we just argued, later we talked and he said that the way I behaved and am "perfect wife" he fall in love with me and he loves me that's why when ever he say that he lives in the end change his mind and stays.
It's so many thinks that happened between us.... I was all the time "good wife" and he the one going out sometimes and sometimes looked like he lives single man live.
At this stage we don't talk at all for past week. On saturday in the morning I usually take my dd4 for he classes, go shopping and husband stays with little baby at home. In the morning I asked him If he stays with baby, he said no as he got his own thinks to do.
So I went with both kids to classes, shopping, done some activities, came home for dinner time, put kids to bed, 8pm tottaly naked sat on sofa and watch tv. My husnad left house at 9am too, came back around 8.30pm, changed his clothes, took pram out of car, so he can put children car seats in car boot and to hide "child on board" sticker.
He came back at 3am. ( I forgot to add: every time when husband drives car he takes carseat and "hides" them in car boot, he might does some "black business" which I hate but he refused that isn;t because anothe woman, also in past week he took matrace from dd room and was sleeping in living room) When he came back, he took his duvets and slept next to me! what a surprise to me!!??
Sunday morning he left house and went to his new church as he said he cant face pastor from our church after what he said out of distress on front of him. And also he must see someone about his filming in new church.(another thin my husband is doing with filming, he is so excited, i do understand that's what he likes and wants to do, but he put it before his family and doesn't care, he said that money is more important than love in family....)
All sunday morning I was cooking dinner and doing hoovering, gave lunch to kids. took them to our church. Another suprise in the end of church my husband comes to church! pastor and poeple from church prayed for him. We sat in our car, my husband called his friend which was complaining taht is stuck somewhere faraway and need money and petrol. my husband started to directing me which way to take, but I said that I will not do taxi for him and I need to take kids home first or i stop him where he likes. (it was almost 6pm).
Husband started shouting at me that he will slap me..blabla, he got off the car, bunched door and left.
Me and kids went home had dinner, husband came in in next 1 hours with takeaway dinner, had his dinner, bath, and went to sleep in dd4 room.
Now am just asking my self, we don't talk, he hates me, he is nice with children, he plays with them 5 min a day! am on my own, no help from no one. Running business from home, taking care of girls. is this marriage worthy, is it worthy to pray for my husband after all???
I can't eat, sleep am so much distressed in past 1 month I lost more than 1 stone..
why way I want that he hugs me and apology and everything will be ok again, but another hand I want him go :(