Relationship issues now pregnant

[Rocklover]

I have also posted this on the pregnancy board, but I want a variety of opinions, so posting here too. Just to note, I do think I may poissibly have a touch of antenatal depression, but I wanted to ask, does/did anyone else feel distant from their dp/dh when pregnant (I am 30 weeks now)?

I don't like him touching or kissing me and I get annoyed when he (constantly) touches my tummy and tries to feel the baby. Surely this is a good thing and I should be happy about it? I just don't want to be affectionate with him at all and I am pretty sure he has noticed.

I am really not sure whether this is just pregnancy hormones, or that there is really a problem with the way I feel about him. I think it is all tied into the fact that I am very unhappy where I live with him, having moved almost 200 miles away from my family. I feel isolated here and miss them very much and just want to move back to my home town. Plus we were only together just over a year when I got pregnant, which believe it or not, was something we wanted (bloody stupidity in hindsight).

I don't want to talk to dp about this because he would be devastated if he knew how awful I feel.

I still have almost constant nausea which I am now 100% sure is being caused by my extremely high anxiety levels and it is making life unbearable as I am always on the verge of panic.

I am so worried that this relationship is not going to last, I am already divorced with a dd from that marriage. I don't want to be a single mum of two kids with different dads. How on earth do I work through this in my mind so that I understand what I am feeling?

I think hormones can have a lot to do with it and all the feelings about impending new baby. I think if you're not happy being this far from your family then it is worth thinking about moving back and talking about it with your partner, I also think perhaps sharing how you feel in a considerate way may help him too. If you're still feeling nauseous you're not going to feel up to much are you?

One of the reasons I chose to relocate to dp's hometown is because he has never lived away from here and is very attached to his local area. I have lived long distances from my family before and because of this I thought I would adapt easier. I was wrong.

It would be difficult to persuade him to move I think, especially as he can't drive and he feels comfortable here as he knows the area and his job is within walking distance. I know I really need to talk to him about this, but I don't know how to broach it, I really don't want to upset him.

I'm so sorry no one else has responded. I've been quite busy and haven't been able to come on mumsnet much since my last post.

This all sounds very hard. I think he should learn to drive, assuming he doesn't have any sort of medical condition which means he cannot drive i.e. severe epilepsy. I think it would help your quality of life once you have a LO. Although people manage all the time without driving. But it means you can fuss over the baby whilst he drives for example.

I think you need to talk about your worries with him again. I do think that there are some lovely mums and bumps coffee groups you could join which may help you to feel more positive and less lonely. I also think speaking to your GP about your anxiety is a very good idea.

I'm sure some more mumsnetters will be along tonight as well. I'll bump it again if it goes quiet x