Has anyone on here had an OPEN marriage that worked

[NorwegianWould]

That's it really.

I agree the relationship should be ended, in that scenario

TBH, for childhood sweethearts, it would be a hell of a coincidence that they were both equally up for an open relationship at exactly the same time

Which brings me back to the coercion bit, one person is likely to be more "up for it" than the other

Subtle or unsubtle, I would not tolerate it, not for one second

that's just me though

AF: But sometimes one person gets an idea, brings it home and the other one, who has not previously thought of it, thinks it over and decides it does sound appealing. SUch as, you read something in a book about a new sex position or whatever, it turns you on, you show the book to your partner and s/he says, OK, let's try it. Or s/he says, eurk, no, let's not, and you accept that it's not going to happen. Discussing something with a partner is not coercive - if you don't ask, you don't get.

You know what - I think I may have given the wrong impression above AF, and I agree that if I was personally against this and only considering it to keep some waster dickwad, then it would be a completely wrong thing to do.

I would not do this so that he could sleep around with no consequences, just to keep him 'mine' or married to me.

I thought about it as a discussion point between the two of us. And you know what, I am not sure that he would want ME sleeping with other people, he may not be able to cope with that, and so may have to rethink the whole thing.

I, on the other hand, might quite like to sleep with other people

I just wanted other peoples experiences / advice. I would not take this step without serious thought and working through the implications/rules.

SGB - thank you for your input (do you have to search for SGB on a daily basis in order to keep up? )

NW, to be fair, I am not sure if you gave the wrong impression

you didn't say much at all really, so I am putting my own spin on it (don't we all ?)

you are revealing further things now though, aren't you, so the goalposts change a bit

I think it interesting you are getting relatively little response, actually

I realise that it is probably a rare thing, so not surprised by small response

I value your views, spun or not.

I don't mean to change the goalposts, I really didn't mean to dripfeed. The question was asked as a genuine question.

(PS not a journo )

you took the words right outta my mouth !!

you need somebody with views in the middle

sgb and I are not what I would call "in the middle "

NW: I realise that you didn't say anything specific about your situation, which is why I gave only the most general of advice. Best of luck for a good outcome anyway.

No, but I know a couple who do and it works fine (allegedly).

Yes, it can work, but...

1. Ensure the boundaries and honesty are clearly set up at the start. Some people's acceptable may not be the other partner's.
2. Always ensure the primary partner comes first at all times - if they say no at any point stop.
3. There should not be different rules for the man or the woman - ie as has been said above, a position where one of the partner's is effectively allowed to do anything whilst the other is wracked by jealousy/is not allowed to do anything will not work and is destructive and unfair.
4. Avoid emotional attachments (unless polyamorous) and also be honest with other parties Talk talk talk.

Thank you all for your comments.

Will go away and think

I think the problem with us would be the honesty thing.