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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I live in a real life Panto.....

13 replies

GhostTown · 14/11/2010 18:54

Anyone else get this?

DP constantly arguing and having the opposite view of everything I say in a sort of panto 'oh no it isn't'

If I have an opinion about anything he will refute it and then give a long and patronising explanation of how things really are.

Don't get me wrong I don't expect to be agreed with over everything I say but I'm hardly covering important or controversial topics. Just throwaway comments at the tv or whatever.

He's just taken it to new heights hence my complaining posting here.

The cat comes in from the rain, DP had lifted him off the fence and declared cat not wet.

Cat jumps on couch and I go to stroke him and he's clearly wet. Cue DP telling me that he's not wet because HE didn't feel it.

Not just slightly damp and me exaggerating (sp?)had to use kitchen roll to get the water off. DP insisting cat isn't wet since HE can't even see it on the kitchen paper either.

Cue me losing my rag a bit telling him not to tell me what I can evidently feel with my own hand.

Oh, this is just too trivial for words when written down, thing is he does it over everything and it's getting to the stage where I've no interest in having a conversation with him anymore.

Anyway, it's not a conversation if one party is not allowed to have any input is it? Angry Angry

OP posts:
AnnOnimous · 14/11/2010 18:55

Oh no you don't!

Sorry, couldn't resist :)

GhostTown · 14/11/2010 18:58

He's BEEEHIIIND me, isn't he?? Grin - same sense of humour here me thinks, AnnOnimous!

Great name btw!

OP posts:
IWantWine · 14/11/2010 20:27

hey... If you are serious! I feel for you. My (I hate to use this word!) 'husband' is the same.. very low key but constantly questioning me, my decisons, my actions! I am now desperately trying to get a divorce but he is blocking me no matter which way I try!

aurynne · 15/11/2010 03:06

Kick him in the bum and tell him you just didn't :P

Earthymama · 15/11/2010 03:16

My DP does this this sometimes and it drives me insane!
We've managed to discuss it and it doesn't happen very often and is triggered by stress.
DP's family are quite strong minded and confrontational which is where it started.
I hope you get a chance to get your opinion heard!

Sherbert37 · 15/11/2010 04:49

My dad is like this with my mum and it is not pretty to be party to. Seriously, somehow you need to sort it as it must be very wearing. He always had to be right when I was growing up and it led to the most spectacular arguments. Now I have lost all my oomph but it still really grates. Feel for you.

GhostTown · 15/11/2010 08:54

Thank you all for your responses, it helps to know I'm not alone in experiencing this.

Now just need to find a way to get it through DP's skull...... :)

OP posts:
Teaandcakeplease · 15/11/2010 11:00

Can you not sit down and talk about how argumentative he is together, perhaps find a new way to communicate?

This will eat at you and eat at you, unless somehow you can both start to treat each other with more kindness and consideration. I'd be tempted to pay for a few sessions with Relate personally.

GhostTown · 15/11/2010 11:09

Mmmh, teaandcake, I have been thinking along the Relate lines lately.

Nigh on impossible to talk to him about it since when I raise the subject and how I feel when he does it he denies that it happens.

Bit maddening really as I end up feeling like a crazy person who doesn't know up from down :(

OP posts:
Teaandcakeplease · 15/11/2010 11:11

Well from the sounds of it, that's the best option. If he'll agree.

wannabesybil · 15/11/2010 12:07

Can you tape him on your mobile?

You are not insane. Yes he is doing this, no he isn't being reasonable.

GhostTown · 15/11/2010 22:36

Wannabesybil -funny you should mention that, every argument we have I threaten to buy a bloody dictaphone, records what he says then play it back just to prove I'm not going nuts.

Have thought about the mobile as well - strange thing is I'm terrified of hearing myself carrying on on a recording so not sure could listen back to it Blush

OP posts:
Teaandcakeplease · 16/11/2010 18:45

Have you asked him about Relate? How are things going?

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