All New Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched Book Club

[UrbanPatiencekeepinitreal]

Just thought it would be good to start a book list ,everyone welcome !!!!
You dont need to be a "Dumpling "to post ,just recommend a book that you think is worth reading,inspired you and you would like to share with us.

Just finished reading Codependent No More by Melody Beattie.So many awakening moments for me as i read it,but i feel its giving me lots of support re breaking bad habits and recognising other peoples behaviours ,so now i can move away from others when i feel they are making me uncomfortable and unhappy , i can be independent, i dont need to worry about hurting their feelings, it really is ok to suit myself.

Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass is an essential book I think when your partner has had an affair and you are struggling.

The aspect for me that was most impressive is that she really researched her subject well. She realised through her research that affairs do happen in good marriages and that good people also do have affairs and she is excellent on describing why and how they happen. I think often Relate in the UK still would say that there have to be problems for an affair to take place and say that the partner who didnt have the affair must have contributed to the problems of the marriage. She shows that the non affair partner doesnt have to feel blame. It is a well written compassionate book towards those who have had affairs and their partners and families.

I have found though that the short summaries in this book as to what to do after an affair: How Can I ever Trust You Again by Andrew Marshall - are very good as they have separate sections for the person who had the affair and the person who didnt suggesting actions they should take and explaining the situation they find themself in and how the other half feels.

Another vote for not just friends - like the walls and windows thing.

Will look up more names.

Paul McKennas I can mend your broken heart worked well for me

Women Who Love Too Much - Robin Norwood

Language of Letting Go - Melody Beattie

Just wish I could put into practice everything I read!

Currently reading The Power Of Now, bought for me by mnetter! Heavy but good.

Whats it about Happy?

Karmann ,i find the further down the road i go the more ready my heart is to follow my head .I also find sometimes i have to go back to a book that i want to read ,just not in the right place emotionally to read it at that time,then at a more peaceful time i will pick it up and read it almost start to finish.

Reading just helps me find peace now ,i find it nourishing for the soul.Helps me to slow down ,think abit and reflect.

Just bought 5 books back from America with me will let you know what they are like once I have read them:-

You, him and the other woman by Paul Coleman
How to heal a broken heart in 30 days by Howard Bronson
Getting past your breakup by Susan Elliott
Its breakup not a breakdown by Lisa Steadman
Why did he cheat on me? by Rona Subotnik

Private Lies by Frank Pitman is very good
Obviously Just good friends - excellent
My husbands affairs by Anne Bercht very good if you want a foresight into trying to get back together and make a relationship work after an affair.

Patience, I'll order codependent tomorrow it looks promising.
I loved Warriors of Light by Paulo Coelho.
I read The Secret recently but was a wee bit disappointed.

End The Struggle And Dance With Life was a great book i read 6mths in to my split,a good friend gave me it, Its by Susan Jeffers and all about looking towards ur higher self and not being a victim,whatever life throws at you.She has also written Feel the Fear and do it Anyway ,need to read that one too.

I'm not a big fan, but I saw something interesting on the internet of a reading list to get over a broken heart, as a "prescription"

FLASHMAN by George Macdonald Fraser
To start, distract yourself with a great romp through the 19th century wars which follows a high-ranking British soldier who beds every girl, acts like a coward, and is still decorated for heroism. Lose yourself in his awful behavior and forget your self-pity.
WE by Yevgeny Zemyatin
Next console yourself with a tale of a seriously doomed love affair set in 32nd century. The first of the great dystopian novels, it describes the hopeless love of D503 for I-330 in One State, a society where men and woman can have sex with anyone but romance isn?t allowed or acknowledged. This novel will cheer you up and remind you that love wasn?t worth it anyway.
ON LOVE by Stendhal
Addressing everything from lust to jealousy to self-love, this book suggests ways to cope with our human need to love and be loved. Written in 1818, in an attempt to cure his own unrequited passion, Stendhal muses with humour and wit on the madness and miseries of love.
THE CONSOLATIONS OF PHILOSOPHY by Alain de Botton
Having reveled in melancholy alongside Stendhal, you can now be consoled by de Botton. De Botton is, as ever, fantastic company for any reader, and his digressions on the great philosophers will help you to reflect on what really matters.
NATURE CURE by Richard Mabey
You?re now ready to move beyond the depths of heartache and start thinking about a brighter future. Take your healing in hand as you read this book about Richard Mabey?s self-prescribed cure for his depression.
HOW TO BE FREE by Tom Hodgkinson
This is a book about enjoying life. Tom advocates throwing off the shackles of conventional lifestyles, living inventively and taking responsibility for your future. A perfect read for hearts on the mend ? bid adieu to sadness as you embrace a new way of living.

Wow Rita Lynn that all sounds mega ,prob start at Stendhal and have a really indulgent December .Will make a difference from what I am reading atm ,Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov ,a bit daft in places but basically saying dont be a pushover ,raise ur self esteem and have fun dating !If they start off being manipulators its only going to get worse so get some boundaries going re whats acceptable,right from the start ,dont waste ur time on losers,why would you want to be with someone that hurts you ?

Doesn't have to be about relationships btw post about any book you think is worth reading .

New Beginnings by Sandy Newbigging
all about embracing the new,letting go of problems,attracting what you want and having more happiness in ur life .Only 100 pages but helps you to stress less ,and stay in the moment x

Ok Patience here I am finally posting as promised lol

Well first off the codependency book mentioned above is a great start for anyone. The language of letting go also good, both by Melody Beattie. The Power of Now & Women who love too much as mentioned above also good.

The Road Less Travelled by Scott Peck good for opening your eyes about life/patterns etc. Or I'm OK - You're OK by Thomas A Harris

For anyone who's not a great reader Susan Jeffers or Louise Hay are very uplifting easy to read books. Full of positive affirmations etc. Or any of the Chicken Soup books, short stories easy to read for positivity.

For Peace/Serenity Awareness by Anthony de Mello good or The Compassionate Mind by Paul Gilbert

For children/parenting/life The New Summerhill by A S Neill very good

For relationship guidance & to help recognise our negative patterns Getting the Love you Want by Harville Hendrix v good.

If anyone wants advice on what book is best for a specific issue shout away. I've a library of them here lol

Thankyou so much starting, got 5 Virginia woolfs for Xmas,but will look back at ur post and choose something from it next to read ,2011 def a year of empowerment and peace ,fancy the road less travelled

The Homecoming by John Bradshaw

Really enjoying this ,loads of interesting thoughts about how the way we are parented affects our lives.All about connecting with our younger ,more innocent self ,our "inner child" and letting us develop emotionally in a way that is more fulfilling, less dysfunctional for us.