How to get housed- my mum splitting up with husband and nowhere to go

[glitterkitty]

Can anyone help? My mum has just found out her husband has been playing away, and wants to leave- they have joint mortgage but not much of mortgage is paid off- when they sell I imagine she will have very little (30k joint maybe?)and its likely to take a year or so to sell up.

I think the property would stop her getting into hostel or housed by council? No abuse/ violence.

What can she do in meantime? She obviously cant stay and he wont leave- and she would like to come back to London where her family live- at moment they are in Devon. She can stay with us on temp basis but obv this is not permanent solution!

Just found all out yesterday- I'd be so grateful for any advice on the best way to go.

Rent?

Check out the Shelter website or pop into your local CAB.

She's 67. No job so renting is going to be hard. They have cc debts- no money even for deposit on a flat.

CAB not open until Monday- just thought someone might have experience as its awful to wait until then... I have asked her to call shelter.

She should NOT move out. She will then have very little leaverage in getting him to sell or remortgage to give her her money.

Well she won't get housed easily, as firstly she has your house to go to, she is not homeless, she also has her own home which if she choses to leave will be intentional in the eyes of the law as there is no abuse.

She needs to get legal advice, her leaving will put her in a weaker position I think.

marking my place. am interested in this too for myself. i need to leave my dp but worried i won';t get housing as he isn;'t abusive or anything. i don't know what to do

so sorry to hear about your mum glitterkitty, you must be worried about her :(

The council won't even look at you if there is no abuse. You'll have to take other steps such as legal advice to get him to leave or try too.

Never leave your home willingly if there is no abuse, you'll put yourself in a much weaker position.

She needs to be able to rent on her own. She will not get Housing Benefit if she's on a mortgage.

I agree she needs to stay put and file for divorce. Sell the house, split the procedes and then rent.

Oh dear. A year or so, miles away from family in isolated village with no car, in 1 bed cottage with fuckwit husband. Not good.

Thanks howto. Good luck to you too. How awful it all is.

Theres no money for rental or I think he would give her it. They are broke and struggling to pay mortgage as it is.

I get housing benefit and I have a mortgage with my ex.

He is in the marital home and I moved out with our children to a private rent.

There are no dependent children, though, they.

She needs to see CAB or get some legal advise, but I'd really not advise leaving the marital home at present.

She might also consider working again.

shes already thinking of work she can do. yes, CAB probably the answer. v stressful. thanks for all your replies.

she can just make up abuse as my daughter in law did! Got her a lovely house.

Simplistic, I know - but why should she leave if he is the one who has been up to no good?

Can't *he" go elsewhere, or find someone to stay with - even temporarily?

Also - having just found out yesterday, I'm sure she is in shock/angry/upset/etc. Perhaps too early to tell, but is there any chance the relationship can be salvaged? Perhaps she should put her name down for Relate - at least so she/they can discuss what happened, and where to go next.

I guess she wants to leave because they live in a village in the middle of devon purely because of his job. Its half hour drive into work for him, even. My mum can't drive and theres one bus a day. All her family are in London.

So no reason for her to stay there, isolated, if she has no relationship. I know she was lonely before but it was ok. They had each other.

Now, of course, that's shot to shit.

There's no equity in the house- my mum has no reason to stay in it or hold out for her half of nothing.

Yes she is in shock. At moment he is in denial that he did anything wrong (despite facebook evidence).

I'd love to think they can salvage this but, based on his reaction so far it seems unlikely. Infidelity is a deal breaker for my mum.

Earlybird- Relate would be great- but he won't even discuss it with mum- so thats not likely to happen.

Early days. She's trying to discuss with him again tonight- my brother is coming to collect her tommorow. She will stay here for a bit then go to my brothers flat.

What she wants is a bedsit/room of her own somewhere. Think getting her name off the mortgage would help with that?

Aylsham- that's not an option. How sad that your DIL did that.

Yes glitter, very sad. Wrecked three lives for the past nine months (my son's and my husbands and mine) but equally important people like her cynically make this even harder for those who have really suffered abuse/violence. And I have to say, although I was a founder of my local WA refuge in the 70s and remain an ardent feminist, WA believed without question and helped her play the system to her advantage and to everyone else's detriment. I feel very bitter about it some £20k of court costs later. But at least our grandson is still enjoying his time with his daddy who fortunately had us behind him so he wasn't forced to walk away as so many dads do. But he has been to hell and back because of false allegations.

Well, if she is 67 has she thought of applying for a Housing Association sheltered flat? Most sheltered schemes now are designed for fully independent living, with as much or little support as you need.

They usually have much shorter waiting lists than general lettings council properties.

And if it was a Housing Association, or a Registered Social Landlord she would be able to get full Housing Benefit if she is on a low income.

I work in social housing btw.

ModreB this looks ideal for my mum- thank you SO much- I would not have known about this otherwise!

Going to call citizens advice in morning,will mention this. Thanks again!