Help for my mum - my dad is depressed

[KnitterNotTwitter]

My dad has had depression for about 10 years now - he's under treatment but is still slowly getting worse - his medication has just been upped again.

It's all getting a bit much for my mum and I wondered if anyone could suggest some organisation who can help her - give her space to talk about how it's all affecting her and some practical strategies. A google search has thrown up lots of possible organisations but none that seem quite right.

Thanks in advance

SS
carers UK
rethink
mind
maybe age concern if they both elderly

you need to call each in the lcoal area to see what support they offer in the local area.

but with the cutbacks kicking in - well get in now before it is too late.... a lot of funding is runing out for these organisations

thanks - that is a useful place to start.

They're both 60. FWIW. My dad retired from the NHS on medical grounds (the depression) just after he was 50. My mum still works part time and would like to retire soon...

retiring at 50 is enough to make anyone depressed...

Both my inlaws suffer with depression, as does my husband, and occasionally me!! It is not nice, and people on the outside don't understand, because its an illness that can't be seen.

My inlaws had to sell their house and rent 2 flats next door to each other, bacause they couldn't live with each other. Im not suggesting that your parents do that, but it workes for my inlaws.

Could your Dad look into having some CBT Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. I believe you can get it on the NHS but you have to see the doctor to get an assessment first. It is on a 1-1 basis and can work extremely well.

He's had lots of treatment, therapy including what sounded like regression therapy. He does groups and classes, creative writing and walking. His depression is also seasonally affected.

Normally he's at his best in the autumn after some sun in the summer. The worry at the moment is that he seems to be at his worst... and the short dark days of winter are still to come.

He does have one of those daylight lamp things but his depression means that he finds it difficult to make the effort to use it... A vicious circle..

For the first time my mum mentioned to me yesterday that they'd considered him a suicide risk - that's how bad things are now. Dad is getting lots of professional help and medication but I also worry that my mum is struggling with the impact of it all.

My dad has had depression - two separate periods for nearly 20 years now. About 5 good years in the middle of that. His was also triggered by early retirement plus bereavement.

,y mum wont accept any kind of counselling or support-group for herself. I think the only way she coped initially was by continuing a life separate from him - working, and now after retirement, seeing friends. I would suggest your mum continues working, if she can.

When your dad sees the psychiatrist (I think you should push for that rather than GP if he only sees GP), does your mum get to talk to them too? If not, then she should insist on that.

... sorry, pressed send too soon. I meant your mum should be given an opportunity to tell them about the suicide concerns, and more generally explain the impact on her.

I have struggled with guilt and worry for both of them for years, thinking I should do more. The conclusion I've come to is that the best way to help my mum is to give her lots of opportunities to spend time with us, having fun and being with our children