My DH has been charged with a crime

[cazbat]

I have namechanged and can't give too many details (so apologies if I'm vague).

In the early hours of this morning DH was charged with a crime that allegedly happened last Christmas.

I know he'd been questioned but not about the crime he's been charged with.

I also know the night in question it was meant to have happened.

The problem is, I always thought that I'd 100% think he wasn't capable of something like that but now I'm not sure. I am doubting myself, what if he did it and has been playing me for a fool? What if he didn't and I'm being a terrible wife for even thinking he might be guikty? I feel so desperately confused, let down, stupid and terrified. This will probably come out in our local press and I'm scared for myself.

Fucking bugger.

Poor you. What sort of crime are we talking about here? Against someone's property or against someone's person?

Against someone's person.

That's why I never thought he'd be capable of something like that but if he's been charged they must have evidence? I don't really understand how it works.

Someone is coming round later to explain the process he/we will be going through.

DCs have all left home thank God.

Well... some accusations are false, and some are true but there are mitigating circumstances. Charged is not the same thing as convicted. I'm sure your head is whirling at the moment but perhaps you can try to suspend judgement either way until you have heard more of what it's all about.

Oh that's horrid for you. Has he been bailed yet?

You obviously need to talk to him and piece together what has happened. He wouldn't be charged without a reason but mistakes are made. You may also want to talk to his solicitor or be there with DH when he sees him after the initial fall out of all this.

And where does fit in your own moral code compass? You might feel easier in your soul if he 's fiddled taxes ( not that it's right) to him drinking and driving or harming a person.

Don't rush yourself. Things will come clearer. Tell him you are confused but no rash decisions yet.

Well - it's not a given it will be in the local press. I'm a journalist (although I've not really done local news) but you need to remember the magistrates courts are full of assault cases. And sometimes things happen which really ought to make the news but don't.

A friend of mine died a few years ago in a fashion which I was convinced would mean she would be in the papers, but almost everyone missed it, fortunately.

Is he back with you?

Sorry to post and run but as I am pretty sure this may reach the media I'm going to stop posting. I don't want to make things worse if someone involved finds this thread.

Hopefully things will become clearer. He's always been a 'charmer' and can twist my words or paint a different picture really easily.

I don't know if I'll get anything honest out of him just because he'll try and protect me. He's not got a history of lying or being deceptive, just glossing over things.

Thanks.

Cup of tea for me I think and a chat to my best friend.

No he's not back but I know he's left the station. His phone is off.

Good luck and take care
sounds like you don't 100% trust him tbh, maybe with good reason?

Your posts suggest to me a serious assault, or a sexual crime. If I am way off I apologise and I don't expect you to say.

But yes it can take months and months to be charged plus it may not be reported until months later until the victim feels they can.

Charged does not mean guilty, nor does it mean there is enough evidence to go the CPS yet. The police may feel there is enough evidence for this at the moment but it's no guarantee. SO it's not at court stage yet and even then innocent until proven guilty.

But you can't be blamed for doubting him, whatever the charge.