how do i leave?

[Bonkerz]

brief history......
Married 7 years, have one child together and one on way and i have a son from previous relationship and he has daughter from previous relationship.
Been a rollercoaster marriage for last 4 years really. We will get along fine for few weeks then ignore each other for few weeks then argue then get on again. Last year we separated for a week, he came back and we promised to work on it. Got pregnant in August which was a shock as we had both given up on the idea.
Past 5 months have been difficult. When we are getting on its great but the lows are very low.
Last night we had a fight which ended up with me punching him (im tiny in comparison to him and i know he didnt get hurt) but i also know the only reason he didnt hit me back was because im 14 weeks pregnant.
He ended up walking out at midnight and i text him to say unless he was back by 1am i was leaving the key in the door (effectively locking him out) and would assume our marriage was over.
Anyway he came back about 12:45am but didnt come to bed and we have not spoken yet today, he has now gone to work and im sat here thinking i need to get out with DD and DS BUT i dont know how.
Have looked at council website but it appears if i leave i will be making myself homeless and wont qualify for help.
I currently work school hours earning about £105 a week but would need to apply for HB to get private rented and after looking at local houses for rent i think that will be VERY difficult.
I dont have anywhere to go. Dh could go to his mums but i cant pay the mortgage and although we are married this was DHs house before i met him and im not on the mortgage and would feel wrong taking it from him despite the kids.
We are in debt and have no savings and DH would really struggle to give me any money as he is paying off 2 loans at the minute and im paying off 2.
am i just going to have to shut up and live like this?

www.relate.org.uk/home/index.html

did relate about 3 years ago and it didnt work for us at all, huge waste of money and no improvement.

It's a worth a try. Not everybody has a negative experience with it Bonkerz. Plus, they help people seperate if that is better.

Oh sorry - didn't click that you also wrote the OP! Doh

A very difficult time for you all.

No you don't, but given your financial circumstances it will be difficult and financially very hard on both of you.

Is there any equity in the house?

Suggest you talk to CAB about HB etc. and check www.entitledto.com to see what benefits you could get if living alone + CSA to see what child maintenance he would have to pay if you split.

Its a nightmare, i dont know what to do BUT i do know im not happy. I know Dh will be silent and moody for the next few days though and then he will crack a joke and expect everything to be ok, we will trot along for a few weeks and it will all start again. We have been in this viscious circle for years now and im tired. The kids are picking up on it and i just think if its gonna happen it needs to be before this baby comes along.
Have looked at entitled to and with me working i could never afford to pay rent and all my bills so would have to give up work which is not something i want to do especially because im doing a degree part time through work which would all end :(

we do have about 35k equity i think in the house but we cant access this. If we increase the mortgage (small 40k mortgage and house worth 80k max) then DH would never be able to pay the mortgage. Would be difficult to sell too as we looked into selling 3 years ago when we were at relate but we need new electrics and boiler and windows which was quoted at 12k but we cant borrow the money as couldnt afford repayments for that work, to seel house in current condition we have about 15k equity max which would mean neither of us would have any money left once we paid solicitors and fees

im stuck

right, have contacted council today, i wont get a place on housing list as would be making myself intentionally homeless if i leave marital home so only option is to look to rent private.

There is a house for immediate rent up the road so perfect for school etc rent is cheap as its only 2 bed, I figure if i go into private rented 2 bed it will give me more points for council house as DS is registered disabled and needs his own room and in 10 weeks baby will also be counted so will be overcrowded.
I have to decide though if i lie to agency to get house. It states no HB so do i pay deposit and one months rent (can just about do that id DH will give half) and once im in then i can claim HB and CTB??? surely they cant kick me out once im in can they? If i declare i am working (true) and DH will agree to sign he will pay half rent too then i can declare change of circumstances once im in and paid.
Does this sound right?

Sounds like a plan Bonkerz! Perhaps you could phone the agency and ask if they mean they won't take full HB on the house but would consider HB as a top-up?

loks like i need to find £900 in total for bond, fees and rent, have to wait for DH to get home at 9 now and tell him whats planned. Im terrified. Im sure he thinks we can just go on like this.

Good luck x