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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

dh with chickens

48 replies

jeesusthatsit · 10/11/2010 22:26

God sorry have namechanged,. dh and i not getting on but its only recent and had no idea why so not to worried.

dh been distant last two weeks. anyway,
have tried strategies - not bothering him for a couple of days then asking if he is ok etc.
got nowhere.

fine. maybe he is just having downtime etc
then tonight, half 8 (early????Confused )he rolls in pissed.

me half asleep in sitting room as ds would NOT got to bed for ages

hear dh come in. get up to find him and
he is the fucking garden trying to shag one of the chickens

I kid you not

holding chicken by its neck and trying to ride it.
abusive language to the chicken.

sorry if this sounds bloody ridiculous it was his idea to get the chickens so its not anti animal crap etc

gods knows what do I do? Poor chicken is hiding in corner of the garden. dh is upstairs having shower

OP posts:
SparklingExplosionGoldBrass · 10/11/2010 23:50

There is a film about this. Have you been watching it OP?

SparklingExplosionGoldBrass · 10/11/2010 23:51

Giblet gravy, anyone?

SheWillBeLoved · 10/11/2010 23:51

[boak]

RumourOfAHurricane · 10/11/2010 23:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

sexybrunettemotherof5 · 10/11/2010 23:52

I'd give hiom a roasting over this!

SheWillBeLoved · 10/11/2010 23:58

And fgs, don't do him any chicken sandwiches in his pecked lunch - work is not the place for flashbacks of this sort.

TDaDa · 10/11/2010 23:58

birds of a feather.....

jeesusthatsit · 11/11/2010 00:04

He has just plucked up the courage to ask me what's the problem.

I've takn all your jokes comments on board

the pecker fecker is slung out in the garden and I caught mabel.

she is safe with me.

OP posts:
jeesusthatsit · 11/11/2010 00:07

His ass is busted and he is moving out.

tax credit for o0ne adult and four chickens?

Mabel will be in the oven tomorrow. fickle feathery biaatch

OP posts:
jeesusthatsit · 11/11/2010 00:10

fucker 'D'H has stomped out with the fucking BASTER. He has the IRON and the BASTER.

Idiot.

My life is sooooo not over.I have the budgies Sad

OP posts:
SparklingExplosionGoldBrass · 11/11/2010 00:42

Is your DH a postman by any chance?

msboogie · 11/11/2010 10:28

no idea

ChickensHaveNoLips · 11/11/2010 10:36

It wasn't me

trulyscrummy · 30/12/2010 22:26

Prfer bigger birds meself...

Catsmamma · 30/12/2010 22:37

is he a leg or breast man usually?

trulyscrummy · 30/12/2010 22:41

If I spunked inside a chicken, would that make it my bird'sseed?

theoldtrout01876 · 30/12/2010 23:20

im in the usa,my Dh is from dorset,he says he used to that all the time :o

trulyscrummy · 30/12/2010 23:30

I would try it myself...but I'm chicken!

TiggyD · 30/12/2010 23:32

Lots of lube would help him, but it's not good for the hens. Assuming he's not after cocks of course.

trulyscrummy · 30/12/2010 23:36

Ex girlfriend once smeared her holiest of holies with dog food before tempting my great dane (deefer) for just a few short seconds...

tallwivglasses · 31/12/2010 00:00

Bear ?

fairycake123 · 31/12/2010 00:11

Wow you are so funny! __

Much love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

trulyscrummy · 31/12/2010 18:03

So why did the chicken cross the road?

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