Sorry it's a bit of a long story: My now husband and i met through friends, we were both inexperienced, just after he had split up with his ex.
He told me she had dumped him for no reason and also cheated on him. We had been together for three and a half years when i found out i was pregnant, as we thought we couldnt have kids it was a massive suprise. At first he seemed shocked and didnt take it well,but over time he started to get excited.
I went to go stay with my folks when i was 10 weeks pregnant for a visit, during the time i was away he called and said an old school friend of his was back from the army and wanted to meet up. I said go and have fun, once i got back home though he was acting horrible to me, being rude and just not him self. i was at this point thinking it was due to stress over the baby.two weeks later i had began to get suspicious so hacked into his email and found a few emails from his ex, dating from before i got pregnant and in which he gave her his phone number and she had invited him to visit her.
The emails had stopped after he had given his number.
I then when online to the mobile site and hacked into his account there, i saw loads of calls and texts to the number she had given on the email Right up to half an hour before when i was looking. as it was late at night i emailed her to get the fun story as i thought he would just lie to me if i confrunted him. she was to cowardly to reply, so in the morning i confunted him.
i asked if he had used the excuse of his army friend to meet up with her, and he confessed they had met up, but swore nothing had happened. He soon changed his tune when he found out that i had emailed her, as i told him i wanted the truth and if i didnt get it from him i would get it from her.
He then started crying and said he had met up with her but nothing had happened they had just kissed, but i knew this woman had constantly tried to split us up the whole time we were together and thought there was more to it. After 30 minutes i asked him again did you sleep with her? and my whole world crumbled when he finally said yes! i cant discribe the feelings that went through my head.
He admited that he had been texting her for a while and that they had also met up the year before but had olny kissed. sorry i know it's a long story but it turns out he didnt use a condom, she had asked him not to! saying she would use the morning after pill (one she had lying around, very conveniently).
He claims barely two days later she was hinting on texts that she felt ill and barely two weeks later a day before i found out she had told him she was pregnant, but she had said she was going to have an abortion as she didnt think she could cope. (of course when she found out i knew she changed her mind and is now saying she is keeping her baby and that it was an accident) but i think she did it on perpose to trap him cause she thought once i found out, i would leave him and she'd have aclear field.
meenwhile my life was falling apart as i was 13 weeks pregnant when all this came out, i had bleeding and pain, i thoguht i would lose my baby. luckily everything was ok. He begged for me to give him a second chance, and i have to say he has been great since, he has brought most of the stuff for my baby and we have moved and started a new life together.
I havent told any of my friends or family as i know they would go mad, and insist i leave him, i never thoght i'd be one of those women peolpe pity, but i love him and want to try again. I have demanded he has no contact with her, but that if she really is pregnant it be worked out threw the courts (about money and such). He has said he hasnt spoken to her since i asked and i pray thats true. but i'm still spying on him and pparanoid (which isnt like me at all).
But since all this came out ive been so down and at times at first i contemplated taking my own life! i was so devistated. i am getting better but i still have days when i feel so bad about what he's done i dont know if i will ever be able to cope again, much less forgive him. Please is there someone who has been through the same and stayed with there man, and if so did it work out. I am so scared for my marriage and my sanity. I know he is trying but i dont know if it will ever be enough. He is the last person i would ever thing of having an affair. I love him to bits i just want the same comitment and honesty as i give to him.
Help, confused and depressed future mom.