Friend's partner hit her. How do I support her?

[queenofdogs]

Now she tells me it's not the first time he 'got physical'. It happened once before when she was recovering from the difficult birth of their ds.

I'm just thinking dump him, the relationship has no future, he will hit you again. She wants to make a go of it. They are having counselling.

I keep thinking of him as an abuser and can't stop myself from viewing everything he has done through this lens. Stuff that before I attributed to him being shy/a worrier/not used to travelling, I now see as him manipulating/controlling my friend.

What's the best way to support her? Don't feel like I can just carry on as normal, but I want to be a good friend.

point her to websites like womens aid.
point out the "cylce of abuse" (google it)
point out it is not her fault he behaves as he does -it is his choice to be violent.
point out his behaviour is unacceptable.
offer to be there if she needs to flee at any time of day or night.
urge her to put papers, douments, money in a ready-to-run bag so she can leave.
point out to ther that the evidence is that counselling when one partner is abusive show it does not work.

www.biscmi.org/documents/MEDIATION_AND_DOMESTIC_VIOLENCE.html