in rl do people really stay friends with ex husbands/wives?

[stitch]

just been reading a book, which seems to be quite well written otherwise, but the main character has five husbands throughout her life. number one dies. she leaves number two coz of his affair. no three proposes to her in front of number two.. then number three divorces her for very complex reassons. number four is number two again. this time she is the one who has the affair, though she doesnt actually have sex with the guy. but even after the divorce they are still very amicable with each other.

surely the author is joking?

I knew a family where the wife and husband were separated, each had different partners but they still kept in touch and on friendly basis.

yes.

dh's ex wife was invited to our wedding (and not out of duty - I wanted her to come too) plus we're both friendly with other less significant exes.

god i HOPE SO

o

I think it depends why you split up and who instigated it. Sometimes ex-dh and I verge on civility and mutual concern over kids but it usually degenerates into 'this is all your fault' ie mine (left ex-dh but no-one else involved), whatever the issue is!

I stayed friends w/only one ex, my ex-husband. We had a great relationship, but he didn't want children and I did, so we divorced amicably. He has since had a vasectomy, and met a woman who - before meeting him - had a tubal ligation b/c she never wanted kids, either. They remarried last year and we sent along a nice gift to them. He and his new wife are great parents to the two cats he and I got together.

We even met up w/them for dinner whilst they were in town on their way to climb Ben Nevis.

I'm very happy for him, and he's very happy for me.

He's a terrific man and I wish him all the best - so glad to see his career has worked out so well and he's able to keep his depression in check so well, too, w/medication and counselling. His wife is very understanding and supportive and herself has a fantastic career.

Probably easier if you didn't have children together.

I think it's possible. I hope it's possible.

I try to stay on good terms with my h (we are separated although not divorced) - I wish him well, care about him and would like to see him happy. I try not to be bitter or bear any grudges - although I will admit to the odd blowing-off-steam comment about him on here now and then!

I think the problems come when one (or both) of you can't really accept what's happened and why. I think I have come to terms with why my marriage failed and accept/understand/forgive the faults on both sides and so I'd like to think that in the future we could actually be friends (rather than just maintaining a veneer of civility).

It's tough, though - you both need to be 'singing from the same hymnsheet' (sorry!) - but I think it's do-able.

I would agree, Caligula.